This is the Grauniad. They probably don't even know what vowels are.

I used to work with someone who was a vegetarian, mainly because he was Type 21 diabetic. He ate continuously throughout the day and passed a significant amount of wind doing it.

So my question is, has anyone worked out the methane emissions of the ~9 billion humans on the planet? I bet that the number would be far greater than that of all the farm animals put together.

"Alexa? Brighten the screen."

"Calculating your shortest route to Brighton..."

They tried exactly this during the French revolution. Didn't last long.

If you want permanent daylight saving, go move somewhere nearer to the poles.

Oh, wait...

The dangerous internet that we have is a corporate controlled commercial space.

Well, it works for Microsoft...

They did. It is called Windows 11.

Or you could use an Android phone? Or a browser on a laptop?

You do know that you can use the browser on your phone to access websites?

You're right! It was never possible to do any of that before systemd was invented.

They shouldn't be called turbines either. To be a turbine the moving parts should be totally enclosed - ask any ship or nuclear power engineer.

The things which stand up on land and at sea are properly impellers.

Someone who can paint well enough to create a plausible fake is already subject to existing laws: counterfeiting and fraud.

And when your workmate says, "The next meeting is at quarter to three," what do you do?

So, let's get this right: You can steal an iPhone, double click the side button and flip through the wallet contents to spend all your victim's money? Cool!