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Journal Captain Splendid's Journal: Slashdot Cabinet 37

Journal by Captain Splendid
Veep: Red Foreman
State: Stoolpigeon
Defence: WillAffleckUW
Interior/Environment/Agriculture: MarxistHacker 42
Justice/DHS/FBI: Profane Muthafucka
NSA/CIA/Etc: Phillip K Dickhead
Treasury: zogger
Commerce: Luke727
Labour/Health/Housing/Education: bethanie
Transport/Energy: tomhudson

And, while we're at it:

UN ambassador: The Fun Guy
UK Ambassador: Jeremiah Cornelius
Poet Laureate: johndii
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff: Luke727
NEA head: Nizo
MLB Commish: RailGunner
NFL commish: Shadow Wrought
Trotskyite leader in exile: Squiggleslash
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Slashdot Cabinet More

Slashdot Cabinet

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  • Never hurts to be prepared.

  • all my departments be abolished.

    Thanks for not giving me the SoS job, though. Seems that's where the chicks usually get stuck.
    • all my departments be abolished.

      Denied. Now get to work.

      Thanks for not giving me the SoS job, though. Seems that's where the chicks usually get stuck.

      Stoolie is perfect for the job, mostly the reason I came up with this list. Your positions demand field experience IMO, and would never get filled by anybody who'd even seen an ivory tower.
      • I guess you forget my tenure at Smith, then. One of the purest, most pristine pinnacles of academic ivory one could hope to see, cloistered away from all cruel realities of the world in its own halcyon bubble of politically correct perfection.

        But isn't it better to have seen the inside and fallen so far from it? So very, very far.
        • I guess you forget my tenure at Smith

          That's OK. You've made it very clear that you have managed to rehabilitate yourself into a real human being. Makes you all the more exceptional to have come so far.

  • No, don't wait for the translation, yes or no? Answer the question! I am prepared to wait for my answer until hell freezes over - do you deny it? Yes or no?

    • That's more like it. Bethanie could learn a thing or two from you.

      • Adlai Stephenson lost in 1952 and 1956 in part because people thought he was too much of an ivory tower wuss, especially compared to General Eisenhower. This speech [wikisource.org] when he was UN Ambassador during the Kennedy administration pretty much cleared that up cojones nada myth.

        I can easily picture Stephenson telling Khrushchev to take his shoe off the table and stick it up his mahtryoshka.

  • I completely accept. And for a first stage, I direct all county extension offices to send somebody to the nearest Native American reservation to interview on what they raised on the land *before* white man started screwing it up. And then to take that knowledge and build up new markets in native foodstuffs.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by nizo ( 81281 ) *

      You better hurry, because I remember a program that talked about how the native stuff is going extinct (since no one is growing alot of it anymore).

  • Can I be interim ambassador to Canada until you find someone cooler?
    • Sure, although I could probably arrange something a little more tropical if you'd prefer.

      • arrange something a little more tropical

        Hmm. There are some fantastic war zones near and within the tropics. I think I'll stay where its cool and peaceful, thank you.

        I'll also suggest Pudge for secretary of offense...

      • With a cabinet like this, a North American Union might possibly be workable, so parts of Canada and Mexico would be a domestic posting (though it might be advantageous to "disinvite" certain parts of the US, Canada, and Mexico).

  • Now I know where I stand.

    Nice to know that I can be ignored even in the cyber world.

    Until the shit hits the fan then everyone comes running.

    • What can I say? I like my governments on a slightly more conservative scale: small and manageable. As I mentioned earlier, there's still plenty of easy jobs with diplomatic immunity for the having, so request away.
  • I want Ambassador to Sweden.

    Busty blonde chicks and Diplomatic Immunity.

  • In exchange for the position of God Emperor.

    Under my tenure, hopefully lasting thousands of years, human history will cease to exist, and only my history will be significant. Like the God Emperor of Dune, I will be a Tyrant with a capital T and a fearsome conservative.

    My mark on on the human race will be so profound that for the millennia after my reign, the biological instinct in reaction to me will be liberalism.

    I do this not because it pleases me, but because I must. I have seen the future through a drug

    • I'll trade you the CIA and FBI In exchange for the position of God Emperor.

      Umm, hell no. You'll have to perform regicide like everybody else, you lazy bastard.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by nizo ( 81281 ) *

        You'll have to perform regicide like everybody else, you lazy bastard.

        I'm thinking the CIA is a fine way to get right on that path anyway.

  • NEA (Score:2)

    by nizo ( 81281 ) *

    Now all I need to do is figure out if that is the national education association or the national endowment for the arts and I'm ready to rule with an iron fist!

    • Well, unless you want to give bethanie a hand, I think you know!

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by nizo ( 81281 ) *

        Yeah I suppose reading comprehension would be helpful being the head of the edumacation thingy.

        Oh and I forgot to mention [slashdot.org] that I am going to switch to a fine arts major. At least now I don't have to pretend to be smart anymore! Woohooo!!

  • ...I have determined that we are *broke*. So everyone serving in this cabinet is doing it under their own nickle, as part of public service. We are now going on the chicken standard to back our currency, in the hopes we can engineer an economic turn around...whoops! I am now, purely by coincidence I assure you, the richest** guy here.

    **actually, not for long. The big clucker packer we get the commercial birds from found out about my small personal flock of 70 birds and I have to get rid of them for "biosecu

  • that
    a) you have nominated yourself as president

    b) as I am not a seppo I am not included

    Do I make it as an enemy of the state ?

    • Yup

      Nope. Not enough important jobs to go around. Can I interest you in the Ambassadorship to the Bahamas? Since we'll be canceling the War on Drugs, they'll be fuck all to do but sip Mai-Tais and ogle the local women.

      Nope. We don't play those games in my house.

      • Re: (Score:1)

        by tqft ( 619476 )

        I accept a fully paid position as Ambassador to the Bahamas - air transport (preferably an SR-71), accomodation and cash for local research to be provided post haste.

        Given the Bahamas proximity to the USA, i trust you will warn me before you make up with Fidel so that I can make a position in Cuban cigars to replenish the Treasury. Some local research in smoke filled Cuban bars may be required - so make that plenty of cash you send.

  • I totally won! Just for you, El PResidente, I will create the finest luxury box at every stadium. That way whenever you are in town you can watch the game as it was meant to be watched: with lots of booze, junk food, and morally suspect cheerleaders. Of course far be it for me to let such luxury go to waste just because you're not around...

  • Only 3 bodies to hide - and then I am in charge.

    • Tsk, tsk - in a PROPER coup, you don't hide the bodies - you stick them on public exhibition, preferably on a road tour.

      ... and then there's the corollary - the head honcho always needs ONE person to make an example of, to keep the rest of his too-ambitious minions in line ...

      It's like in a poker game ... if you're sitting at the table wondering who the sucker is, and you don't see him ... it's probably you ...

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