I have recently come to realize that something very important that is not being taught in grade schools is Logic.

We have and take for granted Mathematics, English, Physical Education, Biology, Science and other basic categories of classes. Even though Logic is highly mathematical and Science is a field that heavily depends on the use of Logic, Logic itself is a distinct set of information and is critical in every day reasoning.

Even the brightest minds can be tricked into accepting something illogical as true if it's patterned in a way they aren't familiar in being a fallacy. Perhaps, even, this assumption so many people have gained that most people are very dim stems from the lack of teaching in Logic.

Logic shouldn't be something people only start to realize in high school and particularly study in college, it should be a regular part of everyone's life as soon as they can grasp the concept of contradiction. I feel I took no great leaps in discovering contradiction in elementary. If i lied about something to get my way, it was amazingly effective even though it wasn't true.

To anyone who might possibly fall across this entry, I ask you; Have you studied Logic? What was the first time in your life you learned about it? Have you heard of dedicated classes for logical reasoning in anything below college? What about as part of another study?

I'm pissed off so I'm writing in my journal thing. That's what you're supposed to do, right? Say things you might regret later in disorderly text that you will look back on and say, "I was such a loser, maybe I still am!"

I've been going to my community college for a year and a half, I'm starting my fourth semester now. Previously I was taking 'Electrical Technology', I thought it was what I really wanted to do. I changed my mind, I think, maybe it wasn't really what I wanted to do.

I didn't like my peers, the classes were too easy, it was the same stuff over and over again. I was finding citations in the NEC more than anything, answering True or False questions for God's sake. I felt insulted, this wasn't a serious program, and I was paying quite a bit for 'lab fees' that weren't buying anything! Sure, I bent a few pieces of conduit, wire nutted some conductors, but it was all just crap. The only classes I enjoyed was circuits and PLC's. Maybe I was hoping to work with the little stuff but fooled myself the big stuff was the same thing.

What's worse is my asthma has gotten worse over the last few years and I am just not cut out for construction, especially in dusty, remote sites where few people will likely know what to do if I have a really bad asthma attack.

Now, I'm in shock about how much harder my classes now are. I can handle them all, but it's taking time, and I'm working, and it's winter and my asthma is killing me. My father keeps going into the hospital, he has a pancreatic pseudocyst and I've barely known him for the last decade and now I finally get to talk to him once in a while and he's falling apart.

I have four classes right now, Elementary Algebra, Psychology, Biology, and Writing and Composition I. I'd thought this stuff would all be easy for me, but it's not what I imagined. Well, the psychology is pretty easy stuff, I can just soak up the trivial knowledge, and I find it very fascinating. And the biology is great, the teacher is incredible and I could listen to him forever.

Okay, I'm overreacting, things aren't so bad. That algebra is a bit hefty, I'm better at math than I'll ever admit to myself (98% on my GED), but there is so much about algebra I hadn't realized I didn't know. So many rules, I'm happy they all stay the same but this is going to be a pretty big helping for me.

It's Writ&Comp that's really worrying me. I mean, the real problem has already been solved, I just have to pay attention to the online thing and do the fucking work, but this teacher... she's so uncompromising, I'm already sure she won't make deals, she doesn't do extra credit, she's really hard on attendance which has always been a problem for me due to my asthma. It's much different than what I'm used to, but I love it.

I'm happy she'll nail me to the wall, I'm in bliss she'll never let my bullshit slide. The fact is, I have gotten away with a lot of giving up and screwing off, only one of my instructors yet have come even close to giving me a bad grade. It was very easy for me to be an 'over-achiever' before because either my teachers didn't care, I had prior knowledge in the subject, or just really liked me personally.

My English teacher, none of this will help me. I'm sure coming in already with perfect English could work against someone with her, she's not conceited, but she will make damned sure people will learn something. It's a little frightening for me, it makes me angry, I feel all sorts of emotions I'm not used to feeling while thinking of the challenge this class will give me. I know it's the best thing for me.

What frightens me most, though, isn't that I have to deal with her strict attitude, it's that she's a very lively and social person and she makes everyone else be lively and social. I'm coping well enough, but I learned a new term today, "introvert", and I'm starting to think I'm that most of the time. When I am prepared and when I can choose to be around people, I love it, I'm great at it, but it wears me out mentally. I start getting angry and confused, I have to step away from the college sometimes just to have a moment of peace. No matter how quiet people are, just their presence is frustrating when I'm not prepared for them.

I don't know if it's paranoia or what, I can't even sit with my back to a crowd, I have to be able to see everyone else to feel halfway comfortable. Sometimes going to Wal Mart is Hell, the mass of people, and they're not there to talk quietly, they're there to BUY BUY BUY! I am too, but it makes the experience easier when there's a lot fewer people around.

It's still hard to put what I feel and what I think together, but... I don't know. I don't know if there is a but.

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRDS IS THE WORD!

I want to say something profound and witty that no one's ever said before, but everything's been said before and better than I can say it. I'm so uninteresting, I hardly ever have an original thought... that is, I've thought I've had original thoughts, dispositions, but I realize painfully over and over again that all I really do is put what other people say in different words.

Sometimes it feels impossible to make my own educated decision. I'm not entirely lacking in free will, I can make the more obvious choices, though to my point I can't even think of any good examples right now. It's where I have to choose things for myself is where I get hung up. Do I want the cheeseburger or the chicken sandwich? Soup or salad? The red one or the blue one? Have I had too much caffeine today? Should I care how I dress?

It's hard to care about myself. I feel like a machine and if someone isn't telling me what to do I can't get anything done.

I got an air mattress and I finally got some sleep last night, I feel refreshed and I can really keep up today, but I still feel blank. Maybe this is how people are supposed to feel, but I still feel like I don't have identity, like I used to have more and now I've forgotten it somewhere. It makes it hard to be happy when I'm alone.

I really like slashdot, it's just got this wonderful feel to it and I have no idea what it is. Almost all the stories are things I'm interested in and most of the reporting is very neutral or on the side I like.

I've looked at The Register once it a while and I still look at Threat Level often, but Slashdot is the only site I look at every day and actually feel a need to keep up with.

I'm also not afraid to talk on it, but I feel like someone will actually see what I say so I won't just be forgotten.

I'm gonna donate 5 dollars right now now that I think about it and I actually have the money. I think I'll try to do it every month even.

Blah blah blah I'm saying stuff.

I'm typing this on a Qwerty keyboard, but I'm used to Dvorak. Ever since I switched to Dvorak like 6 years ago I've only gotten faster and better on it and I don't type it Qwerty that often, so whenever I do it's like trying to get a grip on a little handle meant for children or a big handle meant for those big, giant, muscle man high caliber guns. Maybe both at the same time.

Either way it throws off what I'm doing and I mess up what I'm saying more than usual. It's annoying.

I'm kind of bored, too. I'm at 'work' right now at the college, a temporary student employee. Next semester I'll have more responsibilities and stuff but right now I'm in the 'Community Technology Center', a public computer room where anyone can come into and go online and print stuff.

Occasionally someone actually needs my help, but most of the time out of the 5 to 7 people that come in here, either no one really needs my help or I just have to point at one thing and they suddenly know what to do.

I also have to keep the printer full of paper and toner and blah blah blah.

And I have to keep the room at 73 fahrenheit, and being that it's 94 degrees out I didn't think to bring a hoodie with me.

I'm just glad I didn't have to walk today, I can walk the four miles just fine but it's too hot lately.