Journal the_mad_poster's Journal: [Nerd] Is A Lobotomy Actually REQUIRED.... 11

... to become a movie critic, or is it one of those things they put in a job listing as "helpful"?

I ask, because only a clueless, lobotimized sod would write a movie review about "The Punisher" that whines about Frank Castle's seemingly single-minded carnage and "excessive violence".

If you read Marvel comics, you probably know who The Punisher is. In the comic book, ex-FBI agent Frank Castle goes rogue after he loses his entire family in an act of random violence.

Okay, here's one thing the reviewer got right: giving The Punisher an artificial target in his origin was stupid, because part of the deep pathological scarring that Frank Castle suffers from is a result of the fact that he can't seek vengeance on his family's killers. However, the critic then goes on to bitch about how Castle goes about his duties by wreaking staightforward bloodshed in one wretched murder after another.

Hello? Hi. Anyone home? Are you even remotely qualified to be reviewing this movie? No. Because if you were, you'd know that the Punisher, along with Wolverine and Ghost Rider, is one of the "Big Three" superheroes of the Marvel universe who can only be questionably labeled a "good guy". He's butted heads with everyone from the (intelligent) Hulk to Spider Man to the Avengers who have firmly planted The Punisher on the side of evil in their minds. He's been hunted by everyone from local cops to his normal allies in S.H.I.E.L.D. for his activities. Part of the mythos of The Punisher and part of what makes him such an anti-hero is the fact that he's NOT a good guy, he's just a guy with one bigass chip on his shoulder and a stone cold heart.

And.... excessive violence? Give me a break. Until Morbius and their supernatural ilk started getting their own comics, The Punisher was one of the most violent comic books in regular production at Marvel. The Punisher was original grit and didn't have to rely on the cornball hyperviolence of later comics like DC's Lobo and the overstated, ultraviolent storylines in Dark Horse's independent short stories.

The movie has it's flaws, yes. It's all over the place (those three nieghbors SERIOUSLY detracted from the gritty flow of the storyline and the contrived revenge plot that consumed the movie was really, really bad). Worst of all, the action starts in fits and then quickly ends. On top of that, The Punisher is practically turned into a superpowered being in this, walking right in and right out of the tower at the end as if it were a quick jaunt in the park. Man, if only John McClane had it that easy when he got trapped in Nakatomi Plaza. The Punisher is not superhuman, and I don't give a crap how beefy you are, you're not taking a shotgun blast to the stomach of your body armor from one foot and staying on your feet.

This is why I try not to read movie reviews... I mean... I write poorly informed crapfests all the time, but I don't get paid to do it. How the hell did these losers pull it off?