Really this seems to be a case of "the more you tighten your grip, the more will slip through your fingers".

"and now, Ur H1ghn3ss, we will discuss teh location of ur r3b3lz downloadz"
given today's climate I'm sure they'll move from packet shaping to simulated waterboarding of your packets. (so I guess that's simulated simulated drowning...is that like a VM for torture?)