When I first discovered the underground resistance I was amazed about how
much I learned of
Taco's homosexual tendencies and
Jamie's fascism. The revelations came fast and furious.
But eventually it hit me: Why the inability of carnivore to stop the Taco
menace? Why was the resistance not able to prevail over the obviously inferior
small minded linux loving slashbots? I grew puzzled and jaded.
So I posted and posted, trying to work out my frustration and anger, but
to no avail. The slashbots kept on posting 100's of replies to every article
and never (not even once) replying to any of the views of their brethren.
Did they all just think alike in a communist group think, or was it merely
their out of control egos that made them think everyone else should talk
about their piddly small minded viewpoints? Would they ever stoop to talking
on someone else's terms? Why was the average thread length only slightly
greater than one?
These are questions that have no easy answers.
Except for Taco's homosexuality, which was clearly caused by his abusive
childhood.
But were trolls really any better? If a mental patient is only able to
talk about one thing, and the manly well muscled burly warden just keeps
on chuckling and hitting him over the head, then aren't both people really
in the nut house?
In a moment of lonely base desperation, I turned to adequacy.
Ah! The happy month of elitist posting! I thought I had found a happy
troll slashdot afterlife!
Liberal Potato Error Human Rights
Making fun of GPL loving communists.
Right wing group think
Pot head Poetry. .
Internet Licensing.
Anti-Linuxism
Communism
Feminism
More Sweet feminism
But, Alas! It was too good to be true.
They started openly censoring me for excessive open mindedness.
I was confused. What was going on?
Something was horribly wrong.
I went on IRC to find out what was really going on. There I was shocked
beyond belief.
I found out that the editors were merely college and grad students satisfying
their elitist tendencies and
dealing with the mental problems caused by their inability to work for
a living and $15,000 dollar salaries (for the grad students).
This was not the happy troll paradise of the slashdot afterlife after
all. The editors were just like the Slashbots with their violent anti-social
tendencies.
The editors wanted nothing to do with each other, and were merely satisfying their own cruelty.
And then it hit me. The average editor to editor thread length was also
not much larger than one!
Where had I seen this before? Oh no! Goodness Gracious! Noooooooooo......
At least the grad students are not raping their pupils, I thought to
myself.
As a last ditch moral stand I attempted to point out their elitism and
intolerance.
I was repeatedly kickbanned from #adequacy.
It was clear that this was not the place for me.
In the end, the adequoids were no better than the open slashdot trolls.
The adequoids had merely lost their focus.
Who were both groups really trolling?
It was themselves, of-course. How horribly... utterly... sad...
And then it hit me. I can break free from this vile disease.
I can just walk away.
And so I will. So:
Last post, bitches.
Have an nice day.
YOU SIR are a TROLL and HITLER WILL DO RUDE THINGS TO YOU.
YAAT - You Are All Trolls. And that is not a compliment.
May your pants be full of hot grits and your walls full of petrified
natalie posters.
WIPO, Trollaxor, OOG, nice knowing you. Hope your cellmates are large
and friendly.
Fuck you all.
"Slashbots", "trolls", elitist adequoids, and poopy goatsex loving geekizoid
cave dwellers .
You are all one and the same. All worthless.
Forever doomed to hunch in front of your computer, breathlessly
peering at your computer monitor for another human being.
For you, there is no hope..
philipm
P.S. I urge you all to try real (
non-homosexual
) sex and see if you still want to
"troll", "post on slashdot", or hide away in you poopy filled caves(geekizoid)
and castles(adequacy).
