He'll be here all week, folks.
Ah, there's nothing more productive than starting up the "your language sucks, you should code in [insert my language of choice here] because it's what real programmers use" argument. I've yet to meet a coder whose ability I truly respected that ever got into such an argument. But, hey, maybe this is really useful. Under that guise, let's run the entire argument here and anytime you feel like a language being discussed is for half-wits, you can reference this.

So, here's the argument in order from first salvo to coup-de-grace

1. [Language being discussed] is for n00bs! You should code in [language-1]
2. Ha! You think [language-1] is great? I agree you're not as l4m3 as the n00bs who code in [language being discussed], but please -- time to go to [language-2]
3. *Sigh* I'm so amused (not) when I come to /. and see you [language-2] coders flaming [language being discussed] coders or even [language-2] coders. It's all a bunch of crap and explains why so much money is spent tracking down buffer overflows and other security flaws. Get to machine language or get out!
4. I use 3 keys when I program -- 0, 1 and enter. Bitches!