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Journal jawtheshark's Journal: Now I'm really fucking pissed at my wife. 8

Journal by jawtheshark
So, over noon I am nice enough to come home so that I can have lunch with my wife. To hell with carbon emissions and driving less, as long as she's happy.

Well, but no, today she brought up a topic that I thought we had closed forever. Turns out one of her coworkers has a husband who is a teacher, she told her that the aspiring teachers in his group worked together, shared information, etc, etc, etc... Of course, I didn't know that when the conversation started.
So, essentially she brought back up "why can't you become a teacher", and "everybody deserves a second chance" and "you're really good at explaining". Yeah, well, I FUCKING DO NOT CARE! I tried it once, saw it wasn't from me, realise that "good at explaining" is only requirement #768 in the "what teachers should be good at", and don't even get me started on the fact that my written German sucks donkeys balls.
Besides, Excel, Word and Access is secretary stuff not computer science.
Starting over from position one? The exam commission is never going to let someone pass that quit a few years before. They are not that senile.

I really don't like to be reminded of my failures and misjudgments, you know?

In the end she declared me lazy.... Lazy for "not trying" the first time, lazy for not wanting to try again. Okay, I'll go with lazy if that's what you think I am. I am a slacker, but not trying at what I thought would be my dream job? I THINK NOT...

Of course, I retorted that she is only interested in me being a teacher because of the money and because she could spend all her vacations with me and that she should feel lucky because most people actually don't have much time for themselves.

Left the apartment, slamming the door.
WTF is she thinking?
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Now I'm really fucking pissed at my wife. More

Now I'm really fucking pissed at my wife.

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  • You tried the teaching route, so it must have had some appeal for you at some point. And she sees another teacher with a desirable arrangement in her life.

    You found out that, despite some positives, you don't have an aptitude for teaching. And that you do not find it an enjoyable and satisfying occupation. That's something that she needs to understand. She probably does, to some degree, but in this case was drawn by advantages she saw in her colleague's life. But the fact is that things would probably

    • Mostly venting...

      I already said her that there is no way in hell I'd go back. If she want to have a teacher as a husband, she can ask a divorce and find one. We don't have any kids, so if it's *that* important to her, I'll even help pack her baggages.

      • Think twice before you wave the divorce flag. Then, think again.

        It's not as nice as it sounds.

        • Oh, I'm sure it's not nice... She can strip me of all my money, I'd have to sell the TT, etc, etc...

          However, since there are no kids and she earns more than I do, there is no alimony to pay. I didn't mistreat her, I didn't cheat on her. She has absolutely nothing in her hands that "I'm at fault". A bad career choice can't be valid grounds to get a divorce, right?

          On top of that, she can have all I have, all my money, all my computers, my furniture, my TV, my *anything* but she can't get the apartment be

          • I realize your venting here so feel free to tell me to shut the f@#$ up...

            Being recently unmarried (as I prefer the term to divorced) I can say its not such a bad thing. Since my divorce I have realized how truly unhappy I was for such an exacerbatingly long period of time. Looking back, I realize that when I first started thinking a divorce would be better, it was already way beyond the time I should have done it. Then afterwards waiting it out for another decade to try and improve things and work things o
  • .. but I guess one follows another because of love and a certain more or less remarkable degree of understanding. At least initially.

    From what you wrote, I have the feeling that she wanted you to follow her in the image she has of a colleague, to understand her aspirations, but most importantly, to understand that she wants to be with you. That's not such a bad thing. But the next step is to make her accept reality, that you and her must find other ways to "be together more". That doesn't necessarily mean

    • You know what she wants in me? A partner, a friend, a brother, a father, a boytoy, a provider, a rich man, a man with tons of spare time, and perhaps even a teacher. The problem is: I'm just Jorg... I can't fill in all the roles she thinks she missed in her life. I can't be everything and the constant "being together" can be extremely draining, it's suffocating.

      She has to realise that I can't be what she want, and what I can be, I'll be to the best of my possibilities... However, you cannot make some

      • Jorg, it's not you, Ok? You're a wonderful person. And I'm sure Nat. is also a wonderful person in her own right. She does not own you, she only gets to spend time with you because you want to, and vice versa. She gets you how you are, and the rest is her problem. I think at some point, all couples have this conversation about personal freedom. It can take years to find the right balance, and it's quite hard to keep it. I think you are quite possibly at a point where you and Nat. need to talk about differen

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