Macbooks don't have them or their bluetooth wireless keyboard. I find it quite annoying.

Since GA is based off of Urchin, I assume that they are using something close to it. Urchin works off of a server's access logs. Primarily, it tries to set a cookie that is then used for tracking. The standard practice is to modify the access logs to include that tracking token in the log entry. If no cookie can be set, then it approximates a session based on source IP, user-agent, referrer, time between requests, etc.

I would imagine that most people are being counted multiple times, thus inflating the number considerably.

Some companies get patents for defensive purposes to ensure no one else patents it and uses it against them. I had a serious knee-jerk reaction when my employer sent out an email advertising our patent program. The explanation I got was that we weren't going to be patenting stuff to keep others from doing those things, but to patent them before others do so that we can't be sued. Facebook could be doing just that. In that same email, I was told that the company despises the state of IP and have active lobbying efforts to change things. I felt much better about my employer after hearing all of that.

It sounds like you're not the type of person that is the target of most managed solutions. Cloud products aren't right for everyone and certainly not for every application. Cloud solutions won't ever take the place of bare-metal hardware for folks that need it. I am an operations admin for a cloud product and I have no problem telling customers when their stuff just isn't the right fit for our product. But, what's not right for you, doesn't make it wrong for everyone else.

As someone that works in support for a hosting provider, you're the type of customer that irritates me the most. While they shouldn't be rebooting your box to get root access without your consent, you should at least help them help you. Give them an account with limited sudo access to view your logs. If that won't do, then provide them with the necessary logs. If that's not good enough, don't expect support and move your stuff to some place that doesn't provide the level of support you're paying for.