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Journal heliocentric's Journal: Ahhhh!! My neighbor is cooking again! 21

Journal by heliocentric

So, this guy who lives downstairs from me is in this habit of cooking.

Good for him, a single guy who can cook.

There are two problems here - one is that whatever he cooks is always NASTY. I'm talking the foulest smelling stuff ever. The other problem is that he is a former student of mine, moved in the day after he sent me emails complaining about his final grade. Thus I feel a little strange in going and asking him to knock it the freak off. (Given the history about a certain famous student of mine and his complaining I'm a little "gun-shy" about talking to students - I really should write about that one someday).

As I write this, my nostrils are filling with the odor of decaying matter. Imagine the foulest smelling thing you have ever been around, and then image what that item's poop must smell like - this guy is burning that.

A few weeks ago when my (side) neighbor was on AIM at the time and we were joking about the odor I broke down and asked the guy downstairs what he was making. He said, "Hunan beef." Side neighbor replied, "Beef? Dog poop I could see, but not beef."

I just don't understand it - I love Asian cuisine, but this doesn't seem right to me. Maybe the fact that he is white means something?

Alas, I hope to be out of here an in a new good place in just a few short weeks.

This is the kind of heavy odor that sticks to things. You can almost hear it sticking itself to the walls like some sort of Odor Velcro (TM).

He does this at least twice a week, but with the recent holidays and his being off from work/school he has been back at his parent's house and thus I've had a blessed holiday of non-stench. So, his return now after a window of calm is just that more painful.

This is the first time in my life I have ever wanted to burn potpourri*, but I'm not sure if even that will mask this. Maybe I should roll a joint and smoke the potpourri to ensure I am adequately exposed to the aroma.

* - Burn, cook, warm, electrocute, whatever you do with potpourri, I don't know

UPDATE: Oh no, I'm out of spray stuff to cover the odor, and it's not like I can open a window - this is coming in from the outside. (Yes, he has a vent fan, which I think just gets it out of his place so it can more easily waft up to my place and side-neighbor)

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Ahhhh!! My neighbor is cooking again! More

Ahhhh!! My neighbor is cooking again!

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  • okay, that might actually be two words.
    yes, its two. [3dogcandles.com]

    My wife ordered a 4 oz.'er because she is situated above the fried exhaust of Ollie's Trolley. Since the order was delayed (woman hwo runs the shop said " I'm jammed! Can you wait?" wife said OK) the woman up'd it to an 8 oz smelly jelly. So my wife brought it into work.

    The cap is on. It is in a ziplok. Her WHOLE HALLWAY smelled of lavender! She has to hide it in a deskdrawer, its so potent (in a refreshing way, not in a rotting, stinking way).
  • Alas, I hope to be out of here an in a new good place in just a few short weeks.

    Damn, hope that load of diesel fuel and fertilizer shows up while I still have directions to your place.
  • when i read that your neighbour was cooking i thought, how nice, heliocentric's having a barbecue. Little did i guess that it was your neighbour doing the cooking, not your neighbour... well... cooking.
  • vengeance.

    But, anyway, back to that later. If he's in any way upset at you for giving him a poor grade he needs to learn how to read a syllabus(In which case he's both an idiot for not knowing how to read one and an idiot for getting a poor grade). I have no clue what you teach but I doubt somehow it's a subjectively graded subject. If you're a math professor like the one I had for calculus you can ignore this. (No ONE, and I mean NO ONE ever got higher than a C in that class. Bastard put unsolved equ
  • I lived in an apartment building in Cambridge for awhile and I was on the basement level. I had the dumpster right outside of my windows and two angry alcoholics on my floor. The woman next to me was manic depressive and when not having loud sex she would be blasting U2 at really random hours of the day. (she was hot though, so who cares)
    Across the parking lot was a building exactly like mine, and part of the same apartment complex (I would say they were "projects" except that they cost so much and were too
    • I propose an exchange program, I'll go to Bermuda for a while and you come live here. There's highspeed Internet, lots of computer, tons of penguins, digital cable, a working trainset, and an ex of mine who apparently really really really wants to sleep with me. Plus! The white guy with the cooking problems.

      You just live as me for a while. I figure you can call up my ex, get her to come over and just tell her you are me but that I/you/we got a haircut. She's sure to please. "I keep telling you I'm Cha
      • I suppose I'm West Side (I throw down gang signs to my fiancee all of the time and she laughs and asks what the hell I'm doing - I think it looks fairly retarded - I'm good like that).
        We live straight across the harbor from Hamilton in Paget, so it is fairly central, but certainly not St. George/David.

    • with the master key, I would:

      • Go into random people's apartments and watch TV. Maybe even say "hello" as they come home. Better yet, walk in while they are STILL THERE. . .and watch TV.
      • Change their furniture around. . .
      • Hide and/or destroy the evil shit-cooking chefs' tools. For a bonus, take a dump on their couch and see how they like the smell.
      • Place a hidden camera for the hot chick getting the dick beside you. . .

      I'm sure there are more things I would like to do, but I'm too tired to write or eve

      • LOL!

        At first I was just annoyed that my key did that - but then later I started thinking of all of the bad things I could do. In the end, it is hard to say if I'm just a good person, or just overly lazy - I didn't do anything with it aside from swear when I took my lock out instead of unlocking my door.

        But I sure thought of removing cooking appliances from my neighbor's.

        It was a fairly nice place in terms of size, but the basement apartment was unpleasant in many ways. The time that I forgot my key and p
  • Given the history about a certain famous student of mine and his complaining I'm a little "gun-shy" about talking to students - I really should write about that one someday

    Uh? Can you re-tell it for the sake of my irritating curiosity? Who was the "famous student"?

    Inquiring minds and all that.

    I promise I won't tell. ;->

    Cheers,

    Ethelred

  • I make it all the time. Nothing can out-odor it. Quite tasty, too. Downside: it will be your friends that complain about the smell.
    Nothing can be worse than certain kinds of condiments, and fish sauce has to be on the top ten list. There's this famous old commercial where a housemom is cooking and draws a long breath through her nose, exclaiming "Smells so good!"
    Bleh!
    • In college I lived with a korean and he would have some of that from time to time. That wasn't this smell.

      You can burry cabbage until it rots and somehow not reach this level.
      • I wasn't suggesting that he was cooking Kim Chee, just that you might want to use it to protect your house from his smells.
        I mentioned fish sauce above, but Goy says I need to write about pla-ra, which is made from whole, cleaned fish, salt, and some other assorted ingredients and allowed to rot^H^H^Hferment for months. Maggots are often found in the unpasturized kind. Maggots aren't such a big deal for the NE Thais who eat this stuff, though, because bugs are a common food, including giant worms, termit
    • Yup, had Korean guys at my co-op who would have kim-chee EVERY DAMN LUNCH.

      They went back to Korea thinking american's had this wierd habit of lighting candles during lunchtime ;-)

      Anywho, that's your answer chucko...
      Go out to the Yankee candle company and get yourself a half-dozen 'sugar cookie' candles. Light three near the window, and three near the door. All you'll smell is the smell of sugar cookies just coming out of the oven...
      You probably want to buy a big bag of sugar cookies, too (wife alway
  • A few suggestions from a smoker who lives with smokers :)

    Nag Champa [genericgifts.com]
    Ozium [vacuumhospital.com]
  • All of my neighbors are really nice people but 2/3 cook constantly. My apt door is in a small airtight hallway with 3 other apartments so WHATEVER you are cooking makes the hallway reek. The Korean family next to me cooks up crazy dishes 24x7 that leave a constant stench which occasionally seeps in to my apt. The Italian couple cooks less frequently but I can handle garlic anyway.

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