Journal heliocentric's Journal: Someone left /., the 'net is meaningless, I am to blame, ... 36

Someone left Slashdot, the 'net is meaningless, I am to blame, and other non-news

This is the Internet. See this. Text. Written words, written by a weirdo computer nerd. This isn't real. This is practically meaningless. Okay, so it is completely meaningless, but I'd like to think otherwise when it is my own stuff. Your stuff, however, is meaningless.

LG left, or didn't, or will soon. Whatever. Get over it. If you feel like her, fine, door is to your left. Sure, I often feel like she does, but I try to remember that this just doesn't mean anything.

Go make your own little Slash-clone fiefdoms and leave. It won't matter. It will be just as lifeless and meaningless as anything else. Ooooo, but yours may have prettier colors!

This isn't some game, there is no winner, and we are all merely losers flapping about. No one has any money tied up in this and no one will die because of this, so just stop being so tightly wound.

Breathe.

Life is real. Kids, relationships, fire, redheads, death, and penguins: those are real. Having some beer with friends - real. Blabbering about your bewbs, hair, hot tub, hobbies, bike, STD - that's not real. Equally, being told that those things are pointless or that you are stupid for thinking otherwise - yup, meaningless. It may pass the time, but it's not something that means anything.

You want an outlet for blame? Take something I said, twist it to your own things, post how I make you sick and get over it. I'm sure if you try hard enough and take something I said out of context you can point a lot of hatred at me. It's been done before, pretty recently, too.

So let me just help you by stating: I am the root of all that is wrong in your life, and all evil there is in the world. Your pro-sports team lost - surely I had something to do with it. Dad died when you were young - I'm responsible. Sound not working after you upgraded your red hat install - I cause unrest is sound cards. Someone on some message board that you don't know said something that made you mad/upset/itchy - I made them do it. Oh, and I racked up a lot of credit card debt in your name, and I killed Archduke Ferdinand.

I take all blame.

It doesn't take much to see that the online problems of people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. I'll still be here, for a little while at least, as this place still provides some amusement to me. Your mileage may vary.

You are fat, there is no God, there is no meaning to Slashdot, and there is no reason for us to be here. You want to go - bye. You want to find meaning in Slashdot or other Internet based junk - grow up. There is no reason to search for "why" or "who" as it is as meaningless as the root. Before you try to figure out why someone left, why someone foe'd you, why you ran out of toothpaste just take the easy way out and find me at fault. It won't matter to me since I already know that this is just words and our drivel is without merit.

Post what is wrong in your life, and work in a way to find me completely at fault. I'm sure you'll be right. If you can't find a way to link me to your problems, I'm sure others or myself can help you.

There is some vast conspiracy behind everything, and I am the linchpin.