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Journal grub's Journal: Buddy can ya spare some tinfoil? 6

Journal by grub

Kim gets home tonight and her phone line is dead. I'm cell-only and never use her line so I had no idea. The 2 extensions show "no line." She eats a bit and runs off to play soccer and asks me to take care of the phone issue. I call from the cell and get a busy signal. Hrm.. Call MTS to report it and decide to start tracing it inside to avoid a "$75 minimum" service call if the trouble is in the house wiring.

I go to the block and disconnect all the wires (except for the actual incoming line), dial away, it rings. Process of elimination (try these 3 and leave the other 3 off, split split split you know how..) and I find the wire. (there's a lot of unused phone wire here, previous owners didn't have cordless I guess)

"Hrm.. why would that have died? Cat chewing on it maybe?" I wonder. Then my tinfoil hat appeared on my head and I pull the wire. Rather than going across the basement ceiling it goes to the outside wall and runs along it under the joists and behind the pink fiberglass. I'm pulling out pieces of fiberglass from between the joists along the outside wall! I'm removing ceiling tile! I'm convinced I'll find a malfunctioning government bug or other covert device and then I see that the wire runs through the outside wall. The tinfoil hat is protecting me at Maximum Power when...

...my memory sparks: about 6 years ago I removed the outside phone jack (who isn't cordless nowadays?) and snipped the wire, pushed the rest in and put a dab of caulking in the hole. Presumably some of the water from the harsh rainstorm the other night got behind the caulk and shorted the line. So no... CSIS isn't out to get me, the RCMP are unaware I exist and my hands and forearms are itchy from that fiberglass.

But at least I can sleep knowing my secrets are safe...

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Buddy can ya spare some tinfoil? More

Buddy can ya spare some tinfoil?

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  • yes... (Score:3, Funny)

    by nacturation ( 646836 ) <nacturation AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday September 07, 2005 @08:36PM (#13505054) Journal
    Our subject is responding well to the wiring incident. Soon we shall begin the cortical implants. Bluebird out.
     
    • Just to be pedantic, the memory implantation of laying the wire required the cortical implants. memory implants can't be properly transmited via microwave mind control transmissions, with out the 3g implants which were not available when subject was born.

      • That's what they want you to beliieve.
        • if i didn't have a a helmet lined with pure silver, and tranparent silver for eye pieces, i might be inclined to agree with you. remember they want you to think tinfoil will help protect you. it's not truly effective though you want silver. it's the most reflective substance on the planet, and as such there is nothing better to make a portable mind control proof helmet from.
  • But at least I can sleep knowing my secrets are safe...

    That is when they come and take your secrets... sleep is for the non-paranoid...

  • Not to troll, but real secrets wouldn't be even mentioned about on a public forum. Real secrets are something you and your wife don't even talk about, but know. It never comes up - but if something happens you both know what to do.

    Few rsecrets are kept out in the open, cleverly hidden from prying eyes that look behind the paintings and under carpets and in back room closets.

    Sometimes... ... they're right under your nose.

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