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Journal ellem's Journal: [True Story] IT Hell 20

Journal by ellem

14 Months ago:

PHB: I can't believe this doesn't work!
Me: I told you it wouldn't work. I wrote a 5 page, detailed reason it wouldn't work. I drew you a picture of why it wouldn't work on a 3x5 Index Card. I also sat you down and explained it to you in completely non techie words why it wouldn't work and I used a straw and a swizzle stick as visual aids!
PHB: Yeah, but I can't believe it doesn't work.

1.5 hours ago
PHB: I guess this isn't going to work.
Me: !
PHB: You should have tried harder to stop that project. It was never going to work.

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[True Story] IT Hell More

[True Story] IT Hell

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  • Hopefully, you kept rigorous records indicating your initial estimation of it not working.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by ellem ( 147712 ) *
      I did.

      No one cared.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by rk ( 6314 ) *

        We could put together a club where one of us "takes care" of particularly incompetent bosses/users/cow-orkers for others, and we probably could get away with it if we're smart and don't wield our power too often.

        I'm just sayin'... :-)

        SPECIAL NOTE TO LAW ENFORCEMENT READERS: The characters ":-)" are referred to as an emoticon or smiley which in this case means that I'm not serious. And I know you secretly want to join us, anyway.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by ryanr ( 30917 ) *
          We could put together a club where one of us "takes care" of particularly incompetent bosses/users/cow-orkers for others, and we probably could get away with it if we're smart and don't wield our power too often.

          Like a "Strangers on a Train" kind of thing?

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by nizo ( 81281 ) *
      And you videotaped him signing a statement in front of a notary saying, "I fully understand that Ellem said this will never work" right? Though if you did this ironically it would be the first bit of evidence he would use to prove you should be fired for insubordination.
  • "justifiable homicide"
  • This is PHB's way of saying that next time, you should kick him in the balls and knock out his teeth when such a situation arises, thus leaving no doubt about your objections.
  • for some reason the song 'Alice's Restaurant' were going through my head reading your description. Specifically

    "they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
    and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
    one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
    the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that's not to
    mention the aerial photography."

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by RevMike ( 632002 )

      And Opie looked a the seeing eye dog and began to cry, because he knew that it was a typical case of blind justice, and there was no way the judge was going to look at the 8x10 color glossy photos...

      And I don't want a pickle...

  • Right now I hate my boss. He told me out of the blue to research and then purchase an ID card printer and the software to go along with it. The asshole thinks a static ID card will be the savior of his business. Well, I've been working on the cards now for about 1.5 weeks (I have over 400 cards to print) and whenever I have to go fix something one of our sheeple break, he gets pissy and wonders why I'm saving his equipment instead of printing useless ID cards.

    If he had his way, he'd probably use a "cigar b
  • I told you, fourteen months ago: you had to write a up a one page summary of why it wasn't going to work, and then make the PHB sign it with a fat-tipped RED Sharpie pen

    He'd remember the signing ceremony with the Big Red Pen.

    Fourteen months later, you wouldn't hear about how you protested too little.

    I know I told you that. Let's see, I have a paper signed by you in red somewhere around here....

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by arb ( 452787 )
      It's not legally binding unless it is in red or blue pen. Sorry. ;^)

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Degrees ( 220395 )
        Red Sharpies are red pens - and the signature is visible across the room. Especially if you have the document framed and mounted. ;-)

        • Re: (Score:1)

          by arb ( 452787 )
          Doh. I should have said black or blue pen. That's what I get for posting so early in the morning! 8^)

          But in my defense... Sharpies are not pens - they are permanent markers. ;^)

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by curtisk ( 191737 )
      dead on! When you present concerns as a overview (verbal, document, napkin drawing) its easy to have it taken half-hearted.

      But when you say, here's the whole ball of wax, the risks envolved and my recommendations, clearly documented, please review and sign off on it...in general since they will be "signing off" on it, they take considerably more interest and give it more thought :)

      At least in my experience, thats been the usual case...

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Degrees ( 220395 )
        Yep - that is exactly the tack. And yes, it has worked here too.

        Fat lot of good this advice does ellem after the fact, but next time....

    • For bonus points, make him sign with a Big Red Crayon. One of the fat ones that they give kindergarteners.

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by Degrees ( 220395 )
        One does have to be a little careful of heaping too much insult into the signing request. I mean, it's all for show anyway, so the signer has to think about the gravity of the situation. If the Big Red Sharpie is too much, you can just use a red medium felt-tip pen.

        But here where I work, we really did use this technique, and the client wasn't as critical of the problems with the project as had happened with previous projects. When it is obvious to IT that the project is a loser, it is only fair to warn the

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