So DEI is just like communism. If only someone had done DEI "the right way" it would have been so wonderful!
Communism's problem is inability to scale. When you have a few dozen people in a commune, social norms are adequate to keep people in line, and there are limited amounts of power involved, so power has a limited ability to corrupt the leaders. Scaling it up to a country doesn't really work, so you end up with too many compromises that make it no longer truly communism. It's not that people aren't doing it the right way; it's that it can't be done the right way at scale.
All those communist, er uh, I mean DEI failures are merely the result of "doing it wrong" not because it is inherently a dumb idea which will never accomplish or improve anything.
I think you're a fool. Do you honestly think that tech offices are better without women? That having hordes of men with almost zero chance of ever having a relationship because women don't exist are ever going to not be miserable? That people who are miserable are going to do their best work? The software industry is the essence of hell because there's not enough gender diversity. That aspect of DEI is, IMO, critically important for the industry to be healthy.
I find it amusing you specifically call out trying to encourage girls to go into tech, learn to code, etc. We've dumped 2+ decades and endless amounts of time and money into that pit with no results.
We've dumped endless amounts of time and money into programs that mostly start a decade later than they should. There should be a programming thread that starts in about first grade, lacing logic-related subjects, giving directions, spatial reasoning, and other skills that are related to CS, adding progressively more code-like behavior over time, in much the same way that kids learn math today. By the time they get to high school, they should be able to write real-world code in a useful programming language.
Maybe, just maybe, this is a weird idea I know but think about it... maybe girls are just different from boys and don't like that sort of thing in sufficient numbers to fulfill the fantasy of hitting some arbitrary quotas for women in tech?
My strong belief is that girls just aren't exposed to it in the same way. Boys play a lot more video games, and are exposed to tech a lot more at a young age, and they see it as cool and fun. Girls mostly don't do that. And as long as that is the case, and as long as programming isn't taught as a mandatory part of the education system, you're not going to see any gender balance in tech, because they won't have that spark that causes them to try it in the first place.
More than that, though, if women really are fundamentally different and won't take an interest no matter what we do — if we get CS into the curriculum and it still doesn't change the gender balance — then we need to drop all pretense about forcing people into the office for socialization reasons. Either the office is a place where you can meet people of the opposite sex and get to know each other or it isn't. If it isn't, then every extra hour you spend in the office is an hour you can't spend meeting someone who will make you happy, and the societal harm from that is huge.
Why was that ever a thing anyway?
See above.
Where is the quote for stay at home dads?
First, they have to become dads. When the workplace is too gender imbalanced, that's hard.
Where is the quota for male nurses?
It's not exactly the same. Hospitals have historically been about 70/30 women to men (not all the staff are nurses). Twenty-five years ago, 91% of tech workers were men. After 2.5 decades, all of those programs have driven that number down to probably 70%. The programs you seem to believe aren't working actually are working. Things aren't nearly as bad as they used to be. We're just not there yet.
How come no one cares that nursing, k-12 teaching, administrative assistant and many other traditionally female roles are still overwhelmingly female?
They do. We don't, because this is a tech site, but people in those fields do. Of course, the biggest reason that there aren't more male teachers is because our society is so screwed up that a lot of people automatically assume that a male who wants to work with kids intends to grope them, so that gender imbalance is probably not going to change unless you fix our paranoid society first. But the rest of those fields, sure.
Where is the money to train boys to be good stay at home dads and nurses and admins?
Anybody who goes through college can be an administrative assistant. There's no special training for that. And the main reason that there are fewer stay-at-home dads is because the men tend to earn better salaries, so if only one parent is going to work, it's not the wife. If you want more stay-at-home dads, you have to start by making salaries more fair.
You're trying to artificially design a society based on some oddball philosophy about how men and women are equivalent. They are not. They can be equal but can not be the same. They are different.
Yes, they are different. But they each contribute different perspectives. Having more women in tech tends to result in better products that work better, because they reflect those more diverse perspectives on how the tech should work. The same is true for having more minorities. This has been shown in study after study. It's not about an oddball philosophy claiming that people are equivalent. Rather, it's the exact opposite — a learned understanding that it is our diversity that makes us great.
If women or minorities are less attracted to CS as a field, that still wouldn't diminish the need for their voices; it would just mean that achieving that diversity of voices is harder and requires more concerted effort.
DEI is stupid and dying/dead. It was never a good idea, anymore than communism. It makes no sense and is fundamentally anti-human. Very few humans are ok with the idea of an anti-meritorious system where someone else gets the job, raise, promotion, award, bonus over them because of their skin color.
What you're describing isn't DEI. It's a right-wing caricature of DEI.