Per Adams, as soon as we figure out a theory of the universe, and the universe has free will, it will immediately becomes infinitely more complicated and blow our theory out of the water.

Per Pullman, some church somewhere will dedicate itself to destroying the "free will" in particles, leading to an epic battle between God, man, and the movie industry.

Per CmdrTaco, some commenter somewhere must have accidentally angered a meson, leading it to direct a microscopic black hole to reside in /.'s servers, explaining where all the thoughtful comments disappear to...