I break out some of my old text games and try to avoid being eaten by a grue.

It seems to be just about the simplest phone out there - Details here: http://www.sonyericsson.com/spg.jsp?cc=us&lc=en&ve r=4000&template=pip1&zone=pp&pid=10350 You can get a refurbed one on the Cingular website for $9.99 with one of their pay as you go plans. Don't know how much simpler you can get than that.