Comment Dumb analysis (Score 1) 133
Gotta publish....
They're focusing on this sort of thing:
Betty Smith will give to her mother Gloria Smith (hereinafter "Gloria") one million dollars (the "Payment") on December 1st (the "Payment Date"). Gloria agrees to deposit the Payment at First National Bank (the "Bank") on the Payment Date.
And saying that you only do that in legal writing, not when you're telling a narrative story.
In a narrative story, you might say this:
Betty gave her mom $1M in December 1st. On that date, she deposited it at First National Bank.
There's ambiguity in the narrative story (who did the deposit -- Betty or her Mom?) In legal writing, you're trying to avoid that ambiguity even if you end up with long hard-to-read sentences. If you're telling a story, it's ok to have a little ambiguity and you trust that the reader will figure it out.
It's not surprising that non-lawyers start to use those mid-sentence definitions when they write legal documents -- they're trying to solve the same problem with ambiguity that the lawyers try. It's like saying "novice coders end up using variables just like experienced coders do."