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Journal btlzu2's Journal: can you take it all away, when you shoved it in my face? 11

Journal by btlzu2

they don't get a thing. now my dad is leaving insulting v-mails on wdb's cell phone. (partially because my old cell phone and work number are now inactive and i haven't updated them...they have my email addy) they don't understand a thing i've been trying to say about being an adult and making my own choices and never will. i'm goddamn 34 years fucking old, do they honestly expect me to kow tow to them and act like an apologetic 7 year old?

they're just bullies. my mom does the same thing.

what's sad is they're pushing me further and further away with that behavior--next I'll change my email and wdb's cell phone and that's that. they have a choice in how they approach resolution, instead they flex their big fat mouths and spew threats and guilt. nice.

happy fucking mother's day! ;)

otoh, i don't think i can remember a point in my life where i've accomplished so many of my goals (i have more) and have been on a happier, healthier path. so that probably says something about them not being actively in my life anymore.

hello by the way everyone. miss you guys, but i'm fucking busy!!! i still do like using the word 'fuck', even though that's the worst word that you can say. :D

i wonder what you're doing.
i wonder where you are.
there's oceans in between us.
but that's not very far.

This discussion was created by btlzu2 (99039) for Friends and Friends of Friends only, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

can you take it all away, when you shoved it in my face? More

can you take it all away, when you shoved it in my face?

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  • Whatever issues your folks have with you, insulting or threatening your wife crosses so many lines its just sad. I mean what voice in your head told you that threatening your son's wife is a good idea!?

    Glad you're still taking the high road and moving on and staying strong. Hang in there;-)

  • What do they want? What do they expect? What are they being assholes about? It doesn't make any sense, but then... you already know that.
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • the answer is backbone. i didn't have it for so many years. the son or daughter of parents like that have to put up strong boundaries, be true to themselves, and stand their ground. easier said than done after most of a life of dysfunctional pleasing behavior.

      i still initially get a wave of fear through me when hearing my dad talk like he did on wdb's cell phone--then i have to snap to and realize he's just being a dickhead and that's all he knows how to be when i don't do what he or my mom wants.

      if i co
    • I agree that we should start a site on this. I haven't talked to my parents in six months. It has been going on for a long time but finally came to a head right the fuck after my daughter was born. My mother didn't like the fact that she was not the center of attention and that I was not doing things her wasy... It is actually a lot deeper, you know. I finally said "Fuck this!" This is the happiest time in my life and I am not going to be made miserable and stressed when something this beautiful has hap
      • Comment removed based on user account deletion
        • My Mother's standard answer when questioned was "Because I am you Mother!". I never received good reasons for anything. My family was like a fucking cult. It was always "Family this, Family that". The problem was that my grandparents and my mother never understood that the reason you treat your family with respect is because people should be good to each other... not just because they are related. When my issue blew up with my Mom, she told me to F--K myself and called me p---ywhipped. She then procee
  • You're just going to have to borrow my parents for a while. They're retired, so their schedule is flexible, and my dad has always loved spaghetti, so he'll be cool with Chicago. Maybe you can catch a ballgame together.
    • Can i borrow them, too?

      Rob- blinders and i have been talking a lot about stuff lately, and about the weirdness of learning to communicate when none of your role models could.

      I think it's wonderful that you have the perspective that you do on all of this.

      You don't EVER make someone choose between you or their chosen family. EVER.

      It's a surefire way to get left behind, because any person in their right mind will go with the more inclusive party. You made the right choice.

      Not that that makes it any easier *shr
      • Well spoken. I've had friends that were dating break up and one party would ask me not to hang out with the other party anymore. So I would choose the party that didn't ask me to make a choice.
  • do they honestly expect me to kow tow to them and act like an apologetic 7 year old?

    Yes.

    they're just bullies. my mom does the same thing.

    You are not alone. My parents did the same thing for years. My mom finally figured out that trying to control me, either directly or through others, didn't work. I am hopeful your parents learn the same thing.

    what's sad is they're pushing me further and further away with that behavior

    Because they are afraid of change and not being in control of a situation.

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