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Journal blinder's Journal: A Letter To Business Objects 5

To: Bernard Liautaud - CEO Business Objects Corporation
Cc: Lucifer
Re: Crystal Reports / COM object integration
From: Blinder

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Mr Liataud, you will notice i copied Lucifer on this memo, i figured since you obviously worked very closely with the prince of darkness on designing and implementing Crystal Reports, the both of you should be included in this communication.

i have three words for you, Mr. Liataud:

closed casket funeral

your partnering with Satan on this product, while a stroke of pure genius, has put me at the end of my rope. how you convinced the devil himself to provide, what i am sure was, invaluable assistance in the design and support of this product, is beyond any human's ability of understanding.

i have been desparately "working" with your product for near 3 weeks now with progress that could best be measured in fractions. yes, support contracts, i hear you and the evil one shout... tapping your fingers together, smirking, but have you no heart? no compassion? no empathy for the plight of us poor dopes (developers) who are charged with having to integrate your product with other systems? think of the children!

oh the humanity of your brilliantly evil plans of crushing the will and soul of us developers... plans that i am sure were not only run by, but heavilty tweaked by those in the 7th level of hell. your plan, flawless, has managed to turn a reasonably bright, promising, young developer into a dribbling idiot. congratulations. your plan is progressing at break-neck speed. hats off to you sir. i always like to see a plan come together.

you evil bastard, there will be a time when we rise up and shout to the heavens, from our knees, "no more! we will NOT guess at how this COM object works! we will be able to pass in date strings as parameters!!!!"

in closing, i urge you to heed those three words. for they spell out your future should you continue with your evil ways.

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(if anyone has any amendments or changes, please feel free)

This discussion was created by blinder (153117) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

A Letter To Business Objects

Comments Filter:
  • Ha ha, you're screwed now. See you in Hell.

    Your buddy,

    Bernard
  • I've never used Crystal reports before, but thanks for the warning. I'll try to steer clear of it if at all possible.

    Searching the web [google.com] I found this [tek-tips.com] and this [aspfree.com] link, but knowing that you have already googled for it and this is probably not even close to the answer worries me. Is there no end to the programming staffs evil?

    Good luck, and I should also suggest you douse the computer in holy water. Might release the demon of blue smoke that is clogging the thing up.
  • I'm talking completely without knowledge or consideration, but mightn't the date need to be in an ODBC date or date/time format, rather than a string?

Klein bottle for rent -- inquire within.

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