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Journal bethanie's Journal: The things you do for love.... 30

Journal by bethanie
Since we're doing parenting JEs today, Hubby brought up a good question over supper the other night.

What do you miss most about your pre-parenthood days?

There's a lot that we give up (like protecting ourselves from abject humiliation in front of coworkers, in Josh's case) to put our kids first. But putting them first and making them feel AWESOME about taking a shit is one of the privileges of parenthood -- how lucky is Josh that *he's* the man lil Joey wants to call to share the good news? That's a total rush -- *that's* fulfillment!!

But sometimes it's just the little things that we miss most.

For those of you without kids, what do you think you would miss most? Heck -- if you do have kids, and can remember back that far, what *would* you have thought you would miss? Is that really the case, or is it something completely different?

Hubby says he misses South Park. I've thought of getting him some on DVD that he can watch on his laptop with headphones.

Me, I miss the hours and hours of unmitigated shagging. Think he might get me some of that on DVD? Somehow, I just don't think it would be the same...
This discussion was created by bethanie (675210) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

The things you do for love.... More

The things you do for love....

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  • Me, I miss the hours and hours of unmitigated shagging. Think he might get me some of that on DVD?

    Free on Intarwebs.
  • Currently we both work at the same place and drive into work together. We'll chat, complain, and yack about anything to unwind after work or in the morning on our way in. As such, she'll be staying home for the first couple years atleast and I won't have that time with her.

    Right now we are together (or atleast in the same building) pretty much always, so I always have easy access to her. With children I'll atleast miss her 9 hours of the day (work + commute) where I usually can be around her in some fas
  • shagging, hacking, reading. If I want more than an hour or two of anything I have to do it between 9 p.m. and 6 a.m.

    • If I want more than an hour or two of anything I have to do it between 9 p.m. and 6 a.m.

      Bingo. I hate having to delegate anything serious to after 8PM (when the kids go to bed). Especially since I'm old now and I have a hard time staying up past 9PM.

    • Yep. I missing being able to just go out to movie/dinner/whatever without lugging kiddo and associated 20lbs of diapers/clothes/toys/blankets/etc along. Ok movies are totally out, and restaurants are restricted to kid friendly places (luckily most are these days). It was nice being able to leave a project (computer parts or whatever) just laying around but those days are long gone too (until I have my own space in the new house anyway) However that said I wouldn't trade either of my kids for all the free ti
      • The same, but for me the emphasis is definately on the "being able to just go" part - ie - the spontanaity. Any deviation from 'normal' now involves not only the packing of sundry acoutrements, but also the risk of disturbing the eating/sleeping/potty cycle of the kids, which could have near disastrous consequences and so must be carefully planned for in advance.

      • "However that said I wouldn't trade either of my kids for all the free time in the world :-)"
        Come on, name your price for the lot.
    • Bedtime 'round here's around midnight. So no wonder I'm up till 2:30 every night/morning!

      'Tis the wee hours that keep me from going completely bonkers.

      ....Bethanie....
      • Those "aftre bedtime" hours, or in my case the "befoe wakeup" hours, are a godsend.

        I love being a parent, but as an only child, I need a good amount of time just by myself. My wife knows and respects this, so pre-parent days I could curl up with a good book or go write or do things by myself occasionally.

        With the (not so) little one, if she's awake I want to spent time with her, if it's going on walks or reading or playing or whatever. And after she goes to sleep, we have time to be husband and wife ins

  • Getting the car seat, diaper bag, milk, baby, and everything else needed ready means every time you want to go somewhere or do anything it has to be planned according to the babys schedule. Also you have to take into consideration the time it takes to get everything together.

    • Ah, the first timer's 'infant' reply.

      I'm at the stoolpigeon's 'toddler' reply. I want to do something by myself from time to time between (on weekends) 8am-1pm (like sleep in) and 4pm and 9pm.
    • Not to criticize, but it sounds like a little streamlining might make your lives a little easier. Just keep a bag packed with all that shit in it -- hell, just leave it in the car!

      As for the baby's schedule -- "schedules" per se are WAY overrated. "Routines" are great, and spontaneity can be built into that for variety's sake.

      I was a lot more careful working around Kiddo's naps than I am with Squirt. I had that luxury. But when you've got two kids, it doesn't really matter if the little one's exhausted

      • He's never really been breast fed, just bottle fed with boobie milk. He didn't eat at all the first days in NICU, he just had an IV. So once he started on milk the NICU staff bottle fed him for all meals while we were not there. After a few days the wife tried to breastfeed him but he'd never latch on well enough to get any suction going, and we stuck with the bottle. So if we're going out we also have to bring the breastpump, make sure we have clean bottles for it. With the wife also having to pump every f

  • pre-Dan & Sophie.

    Thank god I'm a dad.

    Me: Lynda, Danny has been very good I'm going to buy him a PS2.

    Lynda: He's 6.

    Me: He needs Gran Turismo 4 to live.

    Lynda: What?

    Me: That's what he said.

    Lynda: He said he wanted Spongbob.

    Me: He meant Spongebob

    Lynda: Is Gran Turismo a racing game?

    Me: Don't you love Danny?

    Lynda: Hey!

    Me: Ok then. I'll be back in 45 minutes.

    Lynda: Hey!

  • Nothing.

    I miss nothing about my pre-children life. My children are the most wonderful thing in my life. Having a baby is like adding a new primary color to your world. Nothing that came before it can compare, and each new child is equally wonderful. I have 4 now. I want about 3 more, I think. The wife, of course, wants exactly 0 more, so the chances that I will get my wish are slim indeed.
  • Just the two of us going out together, to movies, plays, the library, walks in the park, dinner with friends, eating ice cream by the river in the summer, sipping coffee while walking through snowstorms, going to really loud hockey games and really quiet concerts....

    *sigh*
  • My daughter is a good sleeper. She only rarely gets up before 9 AM on the weekends, but I miss lying in bed till way past noon, then getting a monster takeout lunch.
  • I would miss being a lazy-ass bum.

    Half the time I can't put aside my wants for things that I need. Lunch for tomorrow? Nu-uh. I wanna read slashdot. Laundry? C'mon...you're wearing Christmas socks for baby jesus' sake. Nu-uh. I wanna watch CSI. Groceries? No. I wanna read my magazine- can't you find a piece of bread or some stale chocolate chips or something?

    Right now, I can do that, because my self-neglect doesn't affect anybody else. But with kids, the empty refrigerator affects a creature th
    • Add to that list: cereal for dinner.

      The only thing I really miss is my TV. I used to watch TV. I was allowed to. Now it seems that Cartoon Network (and not the Adult Swim stuff) has taken up permanent residence on my computer:(
    • You can't just throw a kid in the corner with a half-empty bottle of wine and some stale crackers while you go watch South Park.
      Oops... I'll be right back.

      Oh and Bethanie, about the shagging, just tell the kids you are playing leapfrog and daddy isn't very athletic. ;-)

    • You can't just throw a kid in the corner with a half-empty bottle of wine and some stale crackers while you go watch South Park.

      Well actually you can, its just that doing so seems to be frowned on these days.
  • I'm wifeless and kidless. I think I'll miss loud music the most.
  • I only had a few years from moving out of home at 18 to having kids. I turned 22 a month after my son was born. There isn't any particular activity I would miss - just a lot of entertainment (dance clubs, reading, movies, plays, whatever I felt like doing).

    The one thing I would say I lost was simplicity. Until I had kids the only person I had to be responsible for was myself. Getting to work every day on time was as simple as having a working alarm clock. With kids, just getting out the door in the mo
  • I would definitely miss that most. Any crying/whining/moaning/screaming kid would likely send me into panic and flaming internal rage. Reading kids stories. Saying, "agoogabooboo". Watching some dumb kids movie 10,000 times per week. "Poopy diapers". Nuts. I'd absolutely and completely lose it. I've just discovered the absolute joys of intellectual stimulation and enlightenment (yeah, I'm slow--well, I wasn't encouraged much either!) and that would most definitely be changed into a different path.

    I
  • I miss being drink 24/7
    had to get used to being drunk only 20 hours out of the day.

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