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Journal Xerithane's Journal: Shit.. I'm a nicer person. 24

You remember back to April 1st, when I wrote that I was going to be nicer. It was just a fucking joke, I wasn't expecting it to actually happen. I'm blaming my girlfriend, or maybe it's aging, or maybe it's just giving less of a fuck and finding other things more entertaining.

I just don't have the heart in it anymore, and that's almost a shame but I don't know if I miss it yet. The latest bout with dee-ech-zero-I-have-no-real-life-experience-zero-three showed that I just don't lay into people like I used to. I'd like to take a moment to blame the source of this problem: My life has gotten much better.

So, now lets sit around and listen to an afterschool special. It all began with a guy, who grew up too fast and made it big and thought that was life. In the period of 6 months had everything he "worked" for taken. I didn't work for shit, I worked hard to make it happen but it was all given to me. I was in the right place at the right time, and I scored. I wasn't mature enough to make it last, and now it's gone. That's the Silicon Valley story right there.

Here's the 11 word story: Grow up coding, make some bank, then try not to bankrupt.

A year ago, for the long term readers, I was going to go to Japan and get married. That was probably the dumbest thing I could have done. At least it was made clear to me when I got there how dumb it actually was, and I managed to not make the worst decision of my life. That's what she was.

I didn't have the money to go to Japan, but I still went. I'm not even quite sure how I scraped it all together (Thanks to those who helped, I won't and haven't forgotten you guys.) but I did. I wasted it. I needed to see that though, and I needed to hit rock bottom.

So, I hit it, bounced a few times and settled and looked up and realized that I really am that stupid. Since August of last year I've been pushing hard to get everything in order. Get out of debt as much as I can, and get the "bad debt" out of the way. That time is over now. At the end of July I'm going to have two loans out, and be back on my feet.

The moral of this? It's ok to be stupid, because if you are that stupid you needed to learn some lessons. Work towards a goal, and you'll acheive what you are going for. Never try to shirk responsibility for your actions, everything you do is a choice and it's your choice. Even in hindsight, when you realize how fucking stupid it actually was, it was still your choice and you made it. It may hurt to acknowledge that, but do it anyway.

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Shit.. I'm a nicer person.

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  • get the "bad debt" out of the way

    Is that the kind of debt owed to those with a history of breaking body parts?
    • Is that the kind of debt owed to those with a history of breaking body parts?

      I'm sure some of it wasn't far from that, but I paid, so I don't know... :)
  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • Glad you're growing up - and not in the "getting more mature" way, but "learning life's lessons" way. You keep this up, someday you'll make a good father! ;)

      Stop sounding like my mother! She really sees my current GF as "The One" so now I'm starting to get the hints to settle down.
      • Comment removed based on user account deletion
        • Dude, re-read your JE! It's sounding like you're starting to settle down anyway! ;)

          Yeah, I am... I just don't want to admit it. At least I still find robots fighting cool, and look forward to seeing T3.

          I advocate getting married when you're both ready and in love. I advocate having children when both parents are ready and willing and able to love and care for the kid. ("Love the kid" being the first and utmost priority. Caring for the kid will come as a result of that, IMO.)

          I fully know that I am not
          • Comment removed based on user account deletion
            • My only advice on the children aspect is to not have kids just becuase you are supposed to. Many people think of these stages in their life that they have to go through, because that's just what we do as human beings. The decision to have kids is more of a social one, or even one of peer pressure, like "Well, we're married, I guess we should have kids now." Other people have kids just to be trophies, or to live their lives through their children. And others just do it out of selfless reasons, like thin

              • Comment removed based on user account deletion

                • And Xer doesn't strike me as the kind of person to do something he doesn't want to.

                  True, I didn't mean to imply that if I did. (sorry?)

                  There is nothing that makes me more angry than seeing people having children for their own selfish reasons. As if the children are there to make them happy.

                  • Comment removed based on user account deletion
                  • True, I didn't mean to imply that if I did. (sorry?)

                    No - you didn't imply that. At least I didn't gather that at all. I appreciate your response, because it's very reasonable.

                    There is nothing that makes me more angry than seeing people having children for their own selfish reasons. As if the children are there to make them happy.

                    Or children are there so someone actually loves them. That's the one that really gets me. You don't have kids because you need to feel loved, you get a puppy.
              • Other people have kids just to be trophies, or to live their lives through their children.

                Fuck that, I want kids so I can buy an SUV!
  • Shit.. I'm a nicer person.

    I just read the title.... I mean, no fucking way! I don't believe a word you say. That would be as credible as me starting to date girls.
    Get a grip, you'll never become "nice".

    Marriage is overrated.... I don't fucking believe in the integrity of girls anymore. They're all fucking bitches, that'll break your heart the first time they get the occasion.

    • That would be as credible as me starting to date girls. ...
      I don't fucking believe in the integrity of girls anymore. They're all fucking bitches,

      I can't imagine why you have problems dating girls :P
  • Were we separated at birth and no one told me?

    Frankly you have just summed the last three years of my life up. Except, I'm in the UK and I married the gold digger I'm now divorcing.

    The eleven words certainly rang true...
    • Frankly you have just summed the last three years of my life up. Except, I'm in the UK and I married the gold digger I'm now divorcing.

      At least you are divorcing, my condolensces man. Is it getting better?

      Were we separated at birth and no one told me?

      I'll ask my mother ;)
      • Is it getting better?

        To be honest I had no idea how bad things were until they were getting better. Like you I'm a much happier man these days. On a relationship level the outrageous demands have dried up and on a financial level the debts are disappearing rapidly, so all in all, yep they're much better thanks for asking.

        I'll ask my mother ;)

        Did you get an answer from mom yet? :D
        • To be honest I had no idea how bad things were until they were getting better. Like you I'm a much happier man these days. On a relationship level the outrageous demands have dried up and on a financial level the debts are disappearing rapidly, so all in all, yep they're much better thanks for asking.

          That's really good to hear. My current girlfriend helps me a lot getting out of debt, and it's amazing how fast it is going. Seeing how quick it gets better is definitely an encouraging force.

          Cheers to bad
  • that wouldn't be xerithane enough

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