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Enlightenment

Journal TechnoLust's Journal: Epiphany or Explanation or something... 74

OK, FortKnox was asking me about some religious stuff and I had sort of an epiphany of sorts. When I was with Boo, I was blinded by my love and couldn't see that she was lying about a lot of things. I even made up the excuses for her. I believe she loved me as best she knew how, for a while. Then I'm not sure what happened. Now that I've seperated from that situation, I can see more clearly what was going on. I guess that's what I'm doing with religion. What's more important than picking your spouse? Picking your religion. I love God very much, and I loved Christianity, so much that it was difficult for me to see it's problems. When ever anyone pointed out something a Christian had done wrong, I either vehemently defended them, or wrote them off as "not a real Christian". I've stepped away and I'm taking a look now... at what I was, at what I want to be. Was Christianity really right for me, or did I just WANT it to be right for me? So far... I'm not sure.

Yes, I believe the tenents of Christianity. An omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Creator who sacrified His Son for our sins. That still feels right.

As for the praying and all that... I'm not sure. If prayers really did change things, Boo and I would be planning our wedding right now, and preparing for her to move out of her parents house and in with me. If fasting and praying and crying on your knees for hours and hours got you what your heart desired above all else, I'd still be with her. When it started falling apart, I spent more hours praying than sleeping and eating. I held on for months. The de facto Christian answer is that "God answered your prayers, He just said no." So if that's true what's the use of praying? Again the standard Christian answer for this (I have all these memorized) is, "Prayer is supposed to change YOU, not God." Well, guess what? It didn't. I still wanted her as much the day I stopped praying for her to come back to me as I did the day I asked her to marry me. I don't feel the same way now, but that's not because of prayer. "Well, you must not have been doing it right!" Hmm... only been praying for about 2 decades now, you'd think I'd have it down.

I've tried to be selfless my whole life. I gave everything to God, to Boo, to the church. There was nothing left for me. I thought that was a good thing, but I'm not so sure now.

I'm changing... I change every day. I have since I was born. Every new experience molds me into a new person. Everytime someone loves me or hates me or is nice to me or mean, I process it and react. Every compliment, every insult, affects me. Saturday night was one of the best nights I've had since Holly. She was the best time I've had since Boo. I left some details out about Saturday night, because you don't need to know them. I wrote enough so that I will remember what happened. When I come back and read this in a few months or next year, I will remember that night and what it meant to me. Whether I'll be reading it alone, waiting for the next girl to come along, or whether I'll be with Jenn or even someone else, I don't know. It really doesn't matter. I know now that I will make the best of what I have. MAybe I am acting like a frat boy right now... that's ok, I AM a frat boy. Maybe I'll find a nice party girl and we'll party for the rest of our lives. Maybe I'll find a nice quiet girl and she'll "tame" me and I'll have stories to remember. Maybe I won't find anyone and I'll have a blast anyway. Who knows?

Here's what I know... all my life I was told that if I just followed God and did what was right, He would give me happiness. I tried... I wasn't perfect, but I did the best I could and far better than most. I wasn't happy. Oh, I had happy moments, but I wasn't happy. I pretended to be, because if you are a Christian and you are unhappy, then there must be something wrong with your faith or you aren't praying enough, or you need to be in another Bible study even though you are in one 4 nights a week already. Now, I'm still not perfectly happy, but I have happy moments still. I seem to have a lot more of them now. If work was going as well as it was before, I'd probably be happier now than I was then. One thing that turned me off about my church was someone saying, "It's not about your happiness..." Well, excuse me, but for me... it is. I want to be happy, and no one is going to hand that to me. Like anything else worth having, you have to work for it. That's what I'm doign now. Many of you think that because you wouldn't be happy going out drinking every weekend and kissing a bunch of different girls, that I must not be happy. Well, yeah, I am. Sorry. I'm having the time of my life. I'm only going to be in my 20s for 4 more years. I'll be damned if I'm going to let those 4 years go to waste. I'm going to go out and have fun while I'm still young enough to make it to work the following Monday. If that doesn't work for you, please don't do it, but don't try to tell me that I should be staying home reading my Bible, because right now, this is working for me.

This discussion was created by TechnoLust (528463) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Epiphany or Explanation or something...

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  • I never said you SHOULD be that Bible thumping guy. Just said you were but aren't now.
    Religion shouldn't swallow you whole. I wasn't judging you, just telling you how I've seen you change is all.
    I don't want anyone to be unhappy. Just wanted to pick your brain (and, boy, was I successful) ;-)
  • that religion was more about salvation and less about happy. Well, the way some denominations preach that's certainly true.

    Not that I want to hit on religion too hard, it's certainly right for some.

    My take is do what one needs to do to not have any regrets when they look back on their deathbed. Just don't hurt anybody on the way there. And if I'm wrong and we're not just so much compost at that point, hopefully the big guy in the sky realizes I've fully lived this in this wonderful world and in a good way a

    • that religion was more about salvation and less about happy.

      TL, this is it right on the head.

      This world doesn't really matter -- it's a relatively short path on the road to Heaven. Now, God likes us and is willing to change all sorts of things to help us out -- but He's not going to change someone's heart.

      Free will is more important than answering prayers, and if you ever thought it wasn't then you missed the whole friggin point of our faith.
      • Here is something to consider. [lds.org] Of course there are distinctions to make between happiness and joy.

        That said, I haven't seen a good formula for short term happiness, though there are plenty out there that will sell you an illusion of it. There are plenty of chemicals that will do that for you if you want. Somehow I don't think that long-term happiness (or salvation for that matter) is based on altering your mood by injesting things.

        Maybe achieving a sense of peace and knowing God's love for you is mor

      • This world doesn't really matter
        [Rant]
        I [Agent Smith]hhhhhhate it[/Agent Smith] when people say this world doesn't matter. You're basing this on faith, not on fact; therefore, there's a huge chance you'll waste your life away with such thinking. I almost did. It leads to all sorts of ill effects and bad decisions ala "It's in God's hands." when it is, to all empirical data, NOT in anyone's hands but our own. It leads to people choosing the wrong person to marry, not because they love them or value the
        • Exaclty. Why would God put us here, if what we did here didn't matter?
          • You know, I was thinking--and you just confirmed that--even within the bounds of Christianity, the concept that this world doesn't matter doesn't make sense either because of what you pointed out. I'm thinking of it from a different perspective; however, even if you're a Christian, how can you say it doesn't matter?
          • It is less that this world doesn't matter and more that getting from this world to the next and who we help along the way is what matters. If this world didn't matter then God wouldn't have created it, right? Since God did create it, then something about this life matters, otherwise, God would have skipped the whole thing and would have left everything where it was with the just the angels, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

            jason
        • It leads to people choosing the wrong person to marry, not because they love them or value them, but because they're a Christian, and blocking out all other possibly wonderful candidates in the process

          Counter-rant.

          If you think that anything you do in this world will matter, you're deluding yourself. All of the empirical evidence we have suggests highly that, unless you acheive national fame in your lifetime, you will be forgotten within a hundred years.

          Furthermore, if you think that marriage is a quest
          • If you think that anything you do in this world will matter, you're deluding yourself.

            Counter-counter-rant.

            Ok, so it's better to do nothing because it doesn't matter? Having children remember you doesn't matter? Having a long line of descendents who you have a hand in shaping for generations to come doesn't matter? That's a VERY sad outlook. I often think about my great-great grandparents and the stories I know about them coming to this country. I've told Carolyn those stories, so now ANOTHER person
            • Oh, and as long as you're safe and don't neglect your responsibilities, wanton cavorting is a good thing when you're young. It's called "not wasting your youth". I wish I had had the courage to have fun when I was a kid, but NNNNOOOOO, I was a "good Christian boy" who missed out on TONS of wonderful opportunities.
              • I was a "good Christian boy" who missed out on TONS of wonderful opportunities.

                Like AIDS. Or other STDs. Or becoming an addict. Or guilt. Lots of guilt.

                Oh, oh! And mental illness!

                There are worse things than being on the straight and narrow. Think of it this way--you didn't miss a chance to party. You earned the right to truthfully tell your kids that you didn't ruin your life by partying.

                Or not. ;)

                Oh, and I owe you a rant response:

                [calm dialogue=ON]

                We are coming at the same final stance from
  • well - I don't know - I've read your journals and haven't said much, because I don't really know you that well and it just didn't seem to be my place. But you've hit on something that I would like to share with you - you can take it or leave it.

    I grew up in a Christian home. At 16 I felt called to ministry as a Pastor. My life from then until I was 25 was aimed at that goal. In the middle of it all I got married to a girl I knew from church. (there are lot's of details but this will be too long as it
    • I do believe that when we pray, we have to know that we may or may not get what we ask for and we may not find out why. This does not mean that prayer is worthless but that it is not an automatic thing.

      I am not trying to be contentious, but I'm curious what you see the worth of prayer being, since you say that you may or may not get it regardless?

      I see your comparison to asking politely, but honestly I don't buy that as the whole value. Actually I don't see it as any value, but I understand how that can b

      • You are correct. Prayer is not just about asking for things. Prayer is, I believe, about 'talking' with God and I do believe that it has intrinsic value. I was trying to be succinct and stick to the comment. One could, and many have, written entire books on prayer.

        I appreciate you pointing that out.
        • I guess my point is, why even ask for things at all? You'll get them or you won't. Asking, as far as I've ever been able to ascertain, has very little impact. Going to Robi's comments about the Lord's Prayer, I don't get my daily bread because God provides it--been a long time since he did that for anyone as far as I can tell :-).

          I can see praying for guidance, all that other stuff, but I just don't understand why you would pray for things, even as a believer.

          • I see. Well here is my take. I ask for things because I think that while asking does not gaurantee that I will get what I ask for, I may get something because I asked. If that makes sense. Probably not. Now, I realize that there is a lot deeper to go with this (that's always the case in theology) but ignoring the why of it all-- as I understand it, sometimes we will receive things because we asked for them. So I ask. I do think there is another benefit in that when I really honestly pray-- the things
            • Whether or not God provides your daily bread is a matter of perspective.

              I guess I was being a bit flippant. However, it's worth pointing out 1) I did not ask Him for it and 2) for most of the last 10 years, it's been the best thing to happen to me, period, in very many ways. My 2 year old now tops that list, and my job is actually waning somewhat for other reasons ;-)

              sorry to go on but it's hard to compress these things

              I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't curious about how you thought about these things

              • Gotta love unreferenced pronouns. "It" was "my job" not "my daily bread", sorry if I was confusing.
              • I believe in general grace and that means the world is not as bad as it could be. You didn't ask God for your job-- but he gave you the mind and body to do it. So I think he is the reason you have what you have whether you acknowledge it or not.

                I don't think we have to ask for anything to get it-- but that there may be even better things available if we do ask. Now I firmly believe that the best thing that God has to offer mankind is our purpose and the fulfillment and peace we have in living out that
      • Prayer is also about praise, which I should add is the one of the hardest things I have to come to terms with. In the Lord's Prayer [biblegateway.com], when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, there are many other parts besides asking for things; recognizing who God is, praising Him for that position, speeding His return, asking for His will for our lives, asking for our daily needs, forgiveness from sins, deliverance from temptation. The asking for things comes after lots of other parts of prayer. This is not
        • Foster also has a great book specifically aimed at the topic of prayer. I cannot remember the title of it. If you are interested in the Disciplines from a different angle, Dallas Willard has a great book called The Spirit of the Disciplines. I read Willard's book first and found that to be great too - and more comprehensive than Foster's book.
          • Yeah Foster gets a little deep or obscure (one of the two) occasionally. CoD was not light reading by any stretch. Thanks for the reference to TSoD.

            jason
      • Actually I don't see it as any value, but I understand how that can be seen as a value, but I have a hard time believing that's the whole story--prayer isn't just about asking for things after all.

        As an agnostic, my view of prayer deviates from the norm, probably even for agnostics. In the event someone prays, regardless of whether there's someone listening with supernatural powers to grant the request (although, not all prayers are requests, nor should they be in accordance with my understanding of the t
  • Techno,
    It must be said - and you have it memorized already - you're just no longer regurgitating them in the right order: Everything you said above is correct because 'God helps those who help themselves'.

    Praying and crying - and I don't know you very well, so I wouldn't know the circumstances - but what were you praying for, exactly?

    If, to get what you wanted, another human being would have to be modified, then; were these prayers ignored, or merely invalid. Asking God for the strength to bring you thr

    • If, to get what you wanted, another human being would have to be modified, then; were these prayers ignored, or merely invalid.

      When I was even more immature than I am now, I prayed for a long time what basicly boiled down to "Make X love me".
      When I finally realised the invalidity of such a prayer, I changed it to "make me the kind of person that X would love". He did, and as a result I also became the kind of person that Y would love, so I got over X, fell in love with Y and am now happily married.
      • Well, she DID love me, and I loved her. I was just praying that He wouldn't let the situation become such that it tore us apart. It did. You said in another post that He gave you the desire to have something and then gave it. I didn't want to desire to be with Boo because I knew it was impossible. He gave me the desire, made it possible and then it fell apart. Maybe He had a good reason, but none that I can fathom.
  • Thats always been my take on this whole "pray for it and it'll happen"- the idea (for me) is that part of the "pray for it" stage is:
    1)reducing yourself to nothing
    2) making this goal one of the top priorities in your life
    3) devising any scheme possible to make this happen (this is why step 1 is important; get your preconceived bullshit out of the way; get rid of your own road blocks).
    4) DO IT.

    Speaking of which, I need to get 8 hours of work done in the next 3.

    Toodles!
  • from my extremely broken sense of the way things work and as I understand them.

    You said that you believe in "An omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Creator." Possessing of the 3 aforementioned qualities then the Creator would know what was best. No matter how much you prayed that God give you something that you think you want, He would still know that it wasn't what was best for you.

    God is like a parent. You could beg your parents all you wanted to give you nothing but icecream to eat when you were l

    • Yes, but they fed me peas, not poison, nor did they let me go hungry. Why not steer me toward another girl if Boo wasn't right? Why give me someone that would eventually hurt me more than I ever thought possible, and then leave me alone?
      • well, parents have to let children make mistakes so that they can learn from them. They have to let you do the problem solving so that the experience was more valuable. If they interfere with the learning process you don't get as much out of it as you would on your own.
        • I'd hate to actually say this, cause its sorta mean, but pain is the ultimate teacher.

          I am ultra careful about electronics. Why? Cause when I was like 6, I put a key into a wall socket. Ouch.

          Joey doesn't go near the stove. Why? Because he touched a hot pan when he wouldn't heed my warning.
          Granted, I never let him get into a situation where he would seriously hurt himself, but just hearing "Joey, its hot and your gonna get burned!" simply didn't register to him until he actually touched it and figu
          • Unless you're my ultra-serious religious "God is not a joke" aunt and uncle. Then Bruce Almighty is sacrilege because OMG they have a human playing God. These are the same people who were all pissed off at a sign in front of a Baptist church that declared "Jesus: Man of the Century." Or maybe it was millenium- I don't know. Apparently they didn't like Jesus being refered to as a "man," which was, I thought, kind of the point of the whole Jesus thing. May they never see Dogma. :^D

            Okay...this has nothin
            • FYI - My wife's family (her parents are both preachers) think that Bruce Almighty was a great movie. Some people just have trouble understanding the word 'fiction'.

              And I, personally, think Dogma is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen (having that Catholic background makes it EXTRA funny). :-D It was the first Kevin Smith movie I owned.
              • DOGMA is a must see for anybody who has read the Nag Hammadi texts and knows who Metnon is. I'd also recommend it for any woman who has a Catholic upbringing but had an abortion at some point in her life- I think it makes the point rather clear that abortion, while not so good, is not an unforgiveable sin.
      • For clues (not answers) look towards the OT. God allowed Israel to run around and cheat on Him with Baal and Ashera and the other pagan Gods of the Amorites, etc. Why did he do that? Because Israel as a nation needed to know why they needed God. Israel had to feel life with out God to know that they needed God in the first place.

        Another reason why God some times allows us to go crazy and make bad choices is for the future. Someone that is a great pastor and saint cannot feel the pain of a drug / sex a
  • Prayer is a form of meditation, a way of clearing and centering the mind. Sometimes, rather than actually saying a prayer, it helps to push it more into the direction of meditation -- by saying repetitive set prayers, such as the Roman Catholic Hail Mary [cptryon.org] or the Eastern Jesus Prayer [kingofpeace.org].

    Saint Gregory of Sinai wrote of the importance of the way one breathes while saying this prayer. He said, "Regulate your breathing also, because rhythmic breathing can disperse distracting thoughts, do not pay attention to the

    • What about this [gospelcom.net]?
      • What about this?

        The point Jesus was making was that repeating a request in a prayer doesn't make it "work" any more than by saying it once. It is not a commandment to not repeat a prayer, but simply to not expect it to be answered any better than otherwise.

        However, simple repetition is a proven method of self-hypnosis, meditating and relaxing, and is also used in many kinds of therapy such as autogenic training. Praying in this manner can thus bring enlightenment, but in a different way.

        Cheers,

        Ethel

  • I think the prayer issue was one of the early things that drove me away from the faith I was raised in. I never prayed asking for things, but I can't tell you how many times someone would say "I prayed for you" as the reason I accomplished something. No matter how much blood, sweat, and tears I personally put into achieving a goal, it was those mystical prayers that were supposedly behind my success. Of course, these same people would blame my failure or inadequacy in praying for any goals I didn't achie
  • you sound as though the kind of church you have been attending encompasses the full spectrum of christianity. it does not. over the past couple thousand years, a multitude of different interpretations have developed.

    to me christianity is about growth, learning, and trying to do what is right. not in the sense of having a list of things you shouldn't do, but in the sense that people should try to be understanding of each other and be kind when possible. it's about overcoming fear and anger with love. n
    • No I was asking God to allow Boo and I to be together, which is what she said she wanted and I knew I wanted. For a while, it seemed He was doing that. Then... it stopped. That's when I REALLY started praying hard. Basically what I'm saying is, how was letting me have Boo and then taking her away better than if I couldn't have had her at all? If He knew it would never work, why answer the first prayer of letting her parents accept it (or at least tolerate it), but not the rest of it by letting us get bac
      • I have wondered some of those questions myself. Why would God put women into my life, take the relationship to a pretty deep point, then let it go away. I really don't completely know. I *want* to believe that I learned something there. That I was allowed to feel the fire before I was burned.

        But, some days I still don't know. Some, I think I enjoyed it while I had it, and have good memories from it. Others I feel like I wasted that time of my life. I don't think right now I am any worse for the experience
        • Do you know what type of woman you want to be with? With bad and good experiences like that, can't you focus in on what you like and dislike, really knowing the person you cuold spend the rest of your life with?

          If you only had good experiences or bad experiences, you'd not be as knowledgable as you are today, right?
      • i can't presume to speak for God. you yourself said that boo was less than honest about some things, some of which you didn't want to discuss. my point was simply that imo God doesn't take away people's free will. so He can guide people, but not force them to do His will. it still takes work from both people to make a relationship function. if only one person is following the guidance, it is not likely the relationship would last. that's what i meant when i said what you were asking came down to God c
      • people grow and change , or not grow and circumstances change. How much of your resentment(?) at prayer should be directed at Boo and her lack willingness to give you what you wanted at that stage in your life.

        We have free will to make and choose our own way - prayer is a way to quiet the mind so as to hear the silence and in that silence we are able to hear something besides our own mind and look beyond our own wants.

        The answers are not always to our liking and it is for us to grow and learn along

  • okay... this is actually quite interesting... and telling of where you are currently. yay for honesty and openess!

    okay... so praying. praying isn't like ordering DVD's from amazon. The Maker isn't a shipping clerk or a grocer. Praying isn't so much about asking for things. its about seeking enlightment and a small measure of comfort through the guidance of your godhead.

    So... because you didn't get what you think you wanted in the time you think you wanted it doesn't mean prayer didn't work, or that the Ma
    • "We live like astronauts and our missions never cross" -- JtB
      Man, that John the Baptist WAS a prophet! ;)
    • Wow, perfectly said and good insight (except for the fact that you keep saying "The Maker" and I keep thinking "Sandworms" (I just finished reading "Dune" for the first time)).
  • by arb ( 452787 )
    As for the praying and all that... I'm not sure. If prayers really did change things, Boo and I would be planning our wedding right now, and preparing for her to move out of her parents house and in with me. [...] I don't feel the same way now, but that's not because of prayer.

    You know what? I think it did change you. Very slowly. The main changes may not have been apparent until after you stepped away from your religion, but I think the constant praying for something that never eventuated set in motion s
  • In my experience, seemingly people go through some distinct stages of development, where they hit one at say 16-18, and then another one in their early 20s, and then another one around age 25 or so. By their late 20s, one can pretty much expect someone to be relatively stable, personality-wise, I think, although there seems to be changes around 40 and 60 or so... You, my friend, seem to be emerging from a slightly neurotic, marginally obsessive phase into a more adult, mature, mellower phase.

    From my per
  • TL, I've been reading your JE's for a while as you know.. I can remember back to the days of the "Bible Study Guys". It seems like your ideas about God have changed since then.

    The biggest question I pose to you is- what is your purpose in life? From a Christian perspective, the purpose in life is not to be happy (as many might believe), but following God generally leads to that. Jesus said that He came that we might live "abundant" lives through Him. Abundant doesn't necessarily mean happy, it means com
    • You mentioned in your JE that prayer never did anything for you. Well, hopefully it got you saved :) and that is the biggest gift that one can ever experience.

      I felt I need to make a clarification - the prayer did not get you saved, Jesus Christ did- the prayer is just how you confess to Christ that you need Him to pay for your sins. (See for reference Romans 10:9)
    • I tried to follow Him. I didn't have a full life. I had a BUSY life, but it was empty.

      Sol keeps telling me I shouldn't need to be with a girl to be happy. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. I always have. Hell, I had a "girlfriend" in 1st grade. My first kiss was at 6 years old. I've always liked having a girlfriend, but I've also always been very picky about who I would date. (Kissing and getting in the hot tub is another story.)


      • Sol is more or less right; your happiness should not depend on having someone else in your life. You should learn to be happy with yourself (which you're starting to do) and then when the right person comes along, she should be mature enough to be her own person who happens to want to share her life with you -- not so she can be saved from her situation, but because she wants to be part of your life.

        But that's obviously just my 2 cents. Your opinions may vary.
        • You bring up a good point...

          Technolust, when is the last time you have wanted to be with somebody who was not a damsel in distress? Is it really female companionship that you are looking for, or is it a desire to feel needed?

          Boo needed to be saved from her parents...
          Meghaan needed to be saved from her husband that was being difficult about granting a divorce...
          Holly(?) needed to be saved from her controlling fiance...

          Just a thought. (It's PsychoAnalyze Your TechnoLust Day!)
      • Maybe this is what you are to see? You are so infatuated with the other sex, maybe you should take a few steps back?? Did you ever take a break after Boo and before these other girls?

        Sounds like you are so obsessed with finding another girl that you are shutting off other parts of your life.
        • May I also mention that obsession makes you think like you are trying to do something to be happy, but the pursuit makes you worse than before. Read Mobey Dick.
      • I tried to follow Him. I didn't have a full life. I had a BUSY life, but it was empty.

        I certainly can't argue with your personal experience.. But, I can argue the Bible :) John 15:5-7 (Jesus speaking to His disciples):
        [5] I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
        [6] If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are bur
      • I had a BUSY life, but it was empty.
        Bible studies, youth groups, music groups, all sorts of churchy stuff and it does no-one any good - BUSY = Being Under Satan's Yoke.

        Paul was the most religious dude before his conversion. A jew of jews, a great religious scholar, zealous for God, and he wrote that compared to just having a relationship with Jesus, those things were just dung. (Yes, in the KJV the word in Phillipians is translated as "dung", in a modern translation he might have written "I consider those
  • In it's essence, what you relate is that you fell away from your faith because it failed to assist you in the realization of your desires. I think that is an honest contention, particularly in light of the fact that so much of what passes for Christian evangelizing these days is about realization of desires, be then inner peace, admission into heaven in the afterlife, material wealth, answers for the pain and struggle of living. So many evangelists claim that if you'll just "give your heart to Jesus," wha
  • There's a reason why Christ included this in his little "how to pray" tutorial. As any good Hindu or Buddhist knows- the purpose of Satori is denial of self-will. Free will is all and good- but other people have it too; and that throws a huge wrench in the works. Far better is to give up and give God- stop asking for what you WANT when you pray, and things will come easier.

    The whole "Blab and grab" theology that so permanates Christianity in America is a con game designed to maximize the collection plat
  • ...but I am certainly going to try.

    A few people here have mentioned that Christianity doesn't promise you happiness. Those people are absolutely right - about that. I've now read the entire Bible a few times in a few different versions, and although I can mention a few places where obedience is linked to a promise here or there, a guarantee of happiness isn't part of the text.

    You mentioned that Sol has said that you should be happy without a girl, and you admitted that she might be right. She is right.
  • Yes, I believe the tenents of Christianity. An omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient Creator who sacrified His Son for our sins. That still feels right.

    That's the most important bit. If you can hold onto that the rest will fall into place - or not - it doesn't really matter.

    If fasting and praying and crying on your knees for hours and hours got you what your heart desired above all else ...

    I don't think it works like that. God's not a genie in a bottle. He has given me what my heart desires after givi

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