Journal TechnoLust's Journal: Work Changes and Confidence vs Arrogance 6

Confidence vs Arrogance
Recent events had me thinking about people's attitudes and how it affects their work. I have often contemplated where the line that seperates confidence from arrogance resides. Today I solidified my thoughts on this. It seems to me that the difference is not in the degree, but the application. Thinking you are the best programmer in the company isn't arrogance, it's confidence. But not taking suggestions from others on your team, or immediately dismissing any suggestions is arrogance. Thinking that because you are the best programmer makes you more important that the other people in the company is arrogance. Making someone feel inferior because they don't know as much about a certain subject as you is arrogance, especially when you are paid to know about that subject.

Work Changes
Yesterday morning, P came into the office and asked for a pay raise and bonus. When he was denied them, he quit. P was the person who had designed most of the systems in my company. I was hired to learn what he knew, so that I could cover him when he wasn't at work, and take some of the workload off of him. One of the main reasons I took this job was because I felt I could learn a lot by working with P. He was an important part of the team. Now, I have to try to be that part. I know I can do it, because I've always been able to adapt and learn quickly, especially under pressure. I know I don't have his experience, and he knows a lot more languages than I do, but I have better insight and analysis skills and I'll get more proficient in the other languages as I need to.

P was very intelligent and a great programmer. No one there would argue with that. But the one thing that most people say is that they liked him but didn't like to work with him. They didn't like the way he talked to them and made them feel stupid for not knowing something.

I don't know why, but P only spoke to me like that once in an email, and then came by soon after he sent it and said he was sorry if the tone sounded harsh, he didn't mean it to be so. I think that's because I'm good at reading people and I determined that he felt like no one felt as proud of his work as him. He wanted someone to look at some clever or tricky or cool code he had written and give him confirmation that it was good work. He wanted appreciation of his talents. Understandable, so I made sure to compliment the things I liked about his code that I was working with. When he was working on something and got excited, I would go over to ask what he was so excited about and he'd show me what he'd done. It was good for me to see what he'd done because I can learn things that he's learned from experience that I haven't had. It also made him feel more appreciated and accepted.

It's not my place to say whether or not P was arrogant. But what I can say is that I want to be someone that people enjoy working with, rather than dread working with. I had a conversation with a girl today. She came by my desk and asked if P was here. I told her no and that he had quit. She asked if I could help her with a problem. I asked her to show me the problem and she did. Then I asked her to recreate her steps so I could see when the computer messes up. She recreated the error and I said, "Ok, I know why it didn't do what you told it." She said, "Wow, I've never been told the computer didn't do what I told it, it's always been that I told it something wrong!" I thought about that and we talked about it a little.

I know I'm good at analyzing systems, so although I feel like I'm very good with computers, I don't think that that makes me better than anyone else in the company. I don't think someone is stupid because they didn't know the network cable had to be plugged in for them to check their email. I hope they don't think I'm stupid because I don't know some simple tax law or legal term or hr guideline. When you make people feel bad, they will avoid interacting with you. So when something comes up that they might normally have told you about, them might not say anything because they don't want to be made fun of if you already knew of it or it wasn't important. The communication is not as good, rapport is bad, and there is a general uneasiness.

I try to make people realize that it is understandable that they didn't know everything about compuers, and if they did, I'd be out of a job. If they did something that they should not do (turn off the computer without shutting down, delete files of which they don't know the purpose, etc.) you can not make them feel like they should have known better. Explain to them WHY it should not be done on a level they can comprehend, but don't talk down to them. Because I make them feel like it isn't a sin to have problems with a computer, they feel comfortable around me, so it's a more relaxed atmosphere. When I leave a job, I want people to miss me not cheer that I'm gone.

I'm mixed on the issue of P leaving. I am not worried about him losing his house or going hungry, I know he can afford to be without a job for a while. I was learning from him, so I'll miss that, but now I'll be on the challenging projects instead of left with the simple stuff. I liked him as a person, but sometimes even I had difficulty with the ego. I could never pose an alternate viewpoint because it was taken as an opposing viewpoint. There were no shades of gray with P, things were the way they were for him. That's cool, but I'm different. I'm more, things are according to their perception, so the effects of an action are more important to me than the action itself. So if I look at it that way, I guess I think P leaving is a good thing, because it seems to be a positive for me and the team, and P wouldn't have done it if it wasn't positive or at least equal for him, so I guess the net effect is good. I think P thought leaving would have a tremendous negative affect on the company, and it will definitely have some negative affects short term, but I think long term it might be better if we find someone who people will feel better working with. Everyone on the team agreed that personality was on the Critcal Skills list for replacement applicants.

Overall I enjoyed working with P and I enjoyed hearing his stories of where he used to live. (Interesing to me was the fact that he lived in Austin, TX and in the Bay Area before moving to ATL. Those are the two places I've flown to in order to meet someone from slashdot.) and places he used to work. I liked to laugh when he criticized me for getting too much rice and sauce at the pay-by-the-pound chinese buffet, and brag about how his was only $4. I just didn't like when he would get into arguments with people during meetings, or when he was so sure of the problem he wouldn't let me suggest other possible causes. I'd like to keep in touch with him. I have his cell number and personal email address, so it shouldn't be too hard.