Your mistake is in assuming there is a difference between being able to do what you want and being able to do what you want.
Your Randians (who are the opposite of anarchists, actually) also want guarantees that their guns are fit for purpose, and if they build them themselves, they want guarantees that the material they use is fit for purpose as sold, and if they mine it themselves, they want guarantees that the mining equipment is fit for purpose and so on.
And your garden gnomes don't want to be locked into the walled garden either. The reason why jail-breaking exists is not because someone wants to burn someone else's things. That doesn't even make sense.
There is no difference. And there is no trade-off either: You can have the freedom to use it and the guarantee that it is usable, both at the same time. In fact, you cannot have either without the other.
In most industries, this is obvious and self-evident. To use a car analogy: A car that only drives to selected destinations isn't a car at all.
The same is true of computers, of course.
So in summary, you are wrong about anarchism, you are wrong about the wild west, you are wrong about consumer rights, you are wrong about the arguments for and against sideloading, and you are wrong about who is against it and why.
Are you being paid for misrepresenting the issue so thoroughly, or are you someone's mark?