Journal SolemnDragon's Journal: In which solemndragon tells your fortune. 9

No, really.

I don't have any particular rant this morning.

So i'm going to tell your fortune, instead. But first let me tell you about my brother Puck.

I saw him on IM last night. He saw me first, though, and sent a message.

Puck: *grabs ahold of you*
Puck: Now give me your pot of gold!
Solemndragon: Ack! They're after me lucky charms!
Puck: How's life in the Emerald City?

My brother puck is always joking about my height. He refers to me as a munchkin. Often.

So sudden outbursts of this nature, while VERY old hat, still make me fall to the floor laughing hysterically. I love me bro.

Now, on to your fortune:

First of all, you're going to get a letter from far away informing you that you're paying too much for your long distance.

Then your socks are going to be stolen by a tree frog named Herbert, who won't give them back until you sing the first twenty-four pages of the 1982 Farmers' Almanac, to the tune of the "Ride of the Valkyries."

You'll give up and go buy new socks, but you won't like them very much.

Today you're going to find that you are better off not returning phone calls. This may or may not be because of the six-foot goldfish that will have eaten your phone, i don't know. But he doesn't seem very happy about his resulting indigestion; i'd run, if i were you.

After lunch, it's going to rain, and you're going to be sorry not to have brought a bigger umbrella, if you remembered one at all.

You will remember the name of that poem you've been trying to remember for three weeks.

You will also, however, conveniently lose your favourite shoe. Yes, your favourite shoe will go away. It's down the storm grate out back, and you don't want it in this condition. Be glad of the chance to show off your new socks.

The large marsupial on the subway thinks you're cute. Don't go there, honey. Don't go there!

You are going to lose five games of checkers, and one round of yatzhee, to the odd little man in the chequered mac who keeps insisting that elvis has been controlling the dice.

(musical interlude)
Never trust a man in a blue trenchcoat; never drive a car when you're dead.
(/musical interlude)

Today the tea will be cold if you're not quick about drinking it, and then mama bear will come along and take it away. Baby bear will have tea that's just right, but you won't want to try to take it from him.

You will be turned down for interstellar occupation, which i bet you didn't even know you were eligible for. That's right, the aliens who were seeking to buy a condo in your left ear have decided to go with one of your coworkers instead.

You will not get run over by a gorilla.

No promises about not being run over by anything else.

You will find out why you fear Orange Marmalade.

Orange marmalade, however, will cease to fear you.

Except in Ethelred's case, where for 'orange marmalade,' read, 'central asian water buffalo.'

All of the above fortunes will be wrong, except two, possibly including this one.

Your lucky numbers for the day are 7.12, 3, 1733, 641, and the letter Q.