Journal SolemnDragon's Journal: Musical Interlude and Medical Update 15

But, pixie, didn't you know that ALL tom waits albums are interchangeable? Yes, and they can all be replaced easily by pouring some scotch over some gravel in a tin can...

(but you're innocent when you dream)

anyway, i have looked over your recommendations, seen some i didn't recognise, and will go have a listen or thirty. Which was what i was looking for, so yay.

Of course you don't know what i listen to, that's the point. If you know what i listen to, you'll give me stuff like it, and i already listen to that. I want OTHER sounds, stuff i wouldn't necessarily choose. How else am i gonna learn?

This morning was a combination of Tom Waits, Trout Fishing in America (thank you, Dubiousdave, for getting me hooked on them), the Postal Service, and Chris Wilhelm. (The latter is one of the local up-and-coming boston folk artists i've been trying to keep track of, because some of them are damned good.)

i dunno what's next. That itunes portal makes it damned easy to buy music, i'll tell ya...

The trip to the doctor's was interesting. Good news; my heart is structurally sound and perfect. Bad news? I really do have some arrhythmia/rapid heartbeat stuff happening. She's sending me back to the cardiologist, i may be experiencing tilt-table testing, or whatever they use as an equivalent these days. However, my primary care is still thinking panic attacks (forgetting that these were absolutely ruled out by 3 prior docs including the psychologist.) It's not panic attacks, i know the difference, and she's got my heartbeat clearly labelled in front of her and even she had to admit that something was clearly happening.

It's been a long week. I think part of it is that any diagnosis of fibromyalgia carries with it a lot of stigma, the same way migraines used to. It's kind of funny. (She has no idea how to treat it, which makes it a good thing that i have a rheumatologist. She seems to think it's a disease that bored housewives come up with. )

I think i need a new primary care. She said a number of things during the couple of visits i've had with her that leave me more than a little astonished by her unprofessionalism, and when she offered me tranquilisers in case they WERE panic attacks- because she didn't read back (mind you, it's all in my record where we ruled that out at the beginning) excuse me, "In case?"

What? You're going to give me the med before we do the tests, just to see if it does anything?

Well, that did it. Apparently, that doc that everyone worries about overprescribing meds? I've found her. She was serious, too. That's what bothers me. SHe doesn't know what's happening, and thought she ought to offer me tranquilisers.

Now, i've had a lot of people threaten to trank me, but usually i've got a chair in the air at the time, or something. This is the first time i've had it offered when i've been well-behaved!

I do not want to be tranquilised. I don't think it's an appropriate remedy for my fibro and i don't think it's an appropriate treatment of whatever the fainting dragon thing is, especially PREdiagnosis.

So i may not be going back to her after the cardiologist. I'm more than a little disgusted by the idea that she would offer me a prescription that easily.

*shakes head*

anyway, i'm not exactly serene, but these definitely aren't stress related. Not when i can trigger them by drinking fizzy drinks.

(We're probably looking at something vasovagal here. The heart tests were just supposed to rule out any heart-related source, which they seem to have done, since we only have a rhythm problem and not any form of heart ailment.)

I made sure to get copies of the record, which she was fine with.

I knew i didn't like something about her, i now know what.

So... next stop, cardiology again. More news as i get it.