> Cats are property. Property cannot be "authorized", cannot "act", and cannot make decisions. The cat is merely a tool she uses to push the button.

Here, let me fix that sentence for you:

HUMANS are property. Property cannot be "authorized", cannot "act", and cannot make decisions. The HUMAN is merely a tool A CAT uses to GET CANS OF FOOD OPENED.

You've never "owned" a cat, have you? :D