I'll see your golden plates and raise you a holy grail.

I don't agree with everything he said but his heart is in the right place. Mitt Romey is not a fucking moron, He's a fucking asshole. He's a dickhead. He's a crook. But he's not a moron.

Mormonism? Of course it's batshit crazy. So is every other organized religion.

What's all this fuss over Steve jobs? The unemployment rate is too high for everyone, not just guys named Steve. My brother Emile had to change his name to Steve just so he could get a job at 7-11.

You botched it. How ironic.

Chevy Chase: And now with tonight's commentary; Miss Emily Litella.
Emily Litella: Thank you, cheddar. What's all this talk about violins on tv? I think we need more violins and less of that loud rock music. And furthermore...
Chevy Chase: Uh, excuse me; Miss Litella. It's violence on TV, not violins.
Emily Litella: Oh. Never mind.

Airplanes have autopilots than can automatically land the plane but human supervision is still required. With your limited vision you wouldn't be able to supervise the car's behavior.

They already make night vision systems for some cars. Maybe a variation of that idea could work well enough to allow visually impaired people to drive safely, or at least to control an automated vehicle.

All consumer reports ever talked about was the details.

Yes, Toyota and Honda used to make panels fit better than GM. OTOH, those panels rusted out faster and the car as a whole was nowhere near as good as Detroit Iron.

I wouldn't trade my old Buick for a brand new Toyota. I probably wouldn't trade it for a new Buick either. They seem to be taking bad ideas from across the pond.

Why are people so angry about oversized laptops. The little ones are too hard to read. My eyes aren't as good as they used to be and I need an oversized laptop. With so many different models .... What? Seized laptops? Well, that's different.

Never mind.

When I was a little girl, the only thing eggplants were good for was eating. But then disgraceful women started using them to make their chests bigger. It's an outrage I tell you, an outrage! Do you know how many starving children an eggplant can feed? And now we find out that those same eggplants could be used to help the blind. Someday eggplants will be able to cure cancer, but there won't be any left because Pamela Anderson used them all up.