Whoaaaa hear me out peoples! I am not having much more of the pwoer for monkey time free balling lumpsies! OMG what is the glass doing next to the clock on the donut bagel?! Can you hea rme not evil enough just one calorie! I think I shall get back to plans! oooo

I have destroyed it! Please bow down and lick my scrotum motherbitches!

The people at the Oscars are absolute fucking morons. Bumfights should have been nominated in every major category. What could possibly be better than paying bums in crack rocks to beat each other senseless and perform other shenanigans?! There are issues involving the epic masterpieces release date, but I DON'T CARE! Not only do we get to laugh at bums, this movie provided employment for those too stupid/lazy/whatever to go out and get jobs. This is why Bumfights is my pick for Best Picture.

I don't know what it is. It must be so ri-goddamned-diculousy shitty. Although I'm not surprised. Most things that involve computers suck all ass.

It's for free! Yes for afterday! Many years of flying gorillas ahve led to my admiral's resemblance! But I digress...The real point of this post is to FIRE SLACKERS! I've come up with a foolproof plan to save America. First, we put the homeless on a barge and send it to Europe. Then, we start genetically engineering incredibly beautiful women to phase out all the ugly ones that are wasting MY AIR! Finally, everyone who is even slightly left of my defined political "center" is to be summa

I'm just writing this here to waste all the above-mentioned things. FUCK YOU SHITHEAD!

Actually, I am grown up. For those wondering (I know there must be vast multitudes of you), I am professionally employed as a master of the custodial arts. Not to be confused with something as heinous as a Slashdot janitor (there's HONOR in my line of work), I get the opportunity to hone my skills every day in a rather large corporation's executive building. From here, I laugh hysterically at the turkeys on this website with "mad Perl skillz" or a who-the-hell-cares what degree from some

Linus Torvalds didn't create Linux! I DID! Linux Torvalds is THE DEVIL! And when I created Linux I was possessed by a devil, not unlike a leprechaun on Colt 45! I regret it every day and am working on a time machine to go back and stop myself. Soon I shall...

We salute you! I need molasses for speakerooskisms so I can fly copolatas on vergrialees!. OMG these mexicans have all their danii popsoes perhaps in all quarrely froggies! From now on YOU ALL WORK FOR ME! Step into my office!! YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED!

As I've been perusing Slashdot, I've noticed that many compare Microsoft to an "Evil Empire" and Linux to righteous "rebels" similar to those in the Star Wars sagas. However, I believe they've got things back-asswards here. Linux is much more like the rebels of the dastardly Confederacy of Southern states during the American Civil War. Many Linux, BSD, and other "alternative" Operating System users are dirty, unshaven, and smelly, much like most of the South was at that time. Their support of th

It is true, yes. Slashdot killed my father! I have lived my life in wonderment as to his disappearance back in the Xibios. Now my plan has swung into the beginning of its highest sun pie! Be gone young ones!

Is easily vanilla. Anyone who disagrees with me is a fucking retard who should be shot. Punk bitches.