Journal Luke727's Journal: Firefly 1

Yesterday afternoon, after I finished the last episode of Firefly and the movie Serenity, I felt empty inside; a true feeling of loss and sorrow. As night came I was able to distract myself with other endeavors and push it off to the back of my mind. When I woke up today the emptiness was back. The shower helped me through the morning, but I've got to admit in the early hours at work I almost felt the need to cry. I was able to make it through the rest of the day without incident, but I still had Firefly on my mind all the time. As soon as I came home the emptiness started to seep back in. This is one of the few times I've felt a real sense of loss in my life, almost as if someone had died. I almost wish I had never seen it just so I wouldn't have to feel this pain, but perhaps it is better to have loved and lost. Like all loss, I suppose it will lessen with time.

Firefly affected me like nothing else I've ever encountered. I am not a spiritual person in the least, but I think I would almost describe it as a religious experience. That may sound funny (or sad), but that is how I truly feel. The acting, writing, and production are all excellent individually; collectively I think they transcended not only the genre but the entire medium (and perhaps entertainment as a whole). The world (or at least my world) is a better place for having had it and a lesser place for having lost it. I have never seen such an enthusiastic fanbase for a show with such a short run, but after having experienced it I totally get it now. I can't say this about many things (if any), but Firefly moved me. I've never felt this way about anything before, and I expect I won't feel this way again.

Serenity was ok, but compared to the series it was a bit of a letdown. Given the constraints they had to work with, though, I think it was the best it could have been. I still have all the commentaries to listen to, but I think that would only make things worse at this point in time. Maybe after a few weeks have passed I will have the strength to revisit them. In the meantime I will have to try to occupy my mind with other things.