Man I would love to have a private harem. All these public ones are making me ichy.

I'm surprised that no one has suggested this as a theory yet, but - isn't this supposed 'phenomenon' really just about personal pride? If I allow myself to be utterly convinced that something is true, only to be told later that that thing was, in fact, utterly false, what is my reaction? Ideally I would be humble enough to accept that I can make mistakes, but this trait is extremely rare. Most people would mistakenly and ironically cling to their false belief than admit that they could possibly make a mistake.

..single one of these photos..

Oh, dammit Johnson, will you get your finger off the lens please?"

I hate to sound like every Disney and sitcom character during the epiphany stage of the movie or episode, but the honest answer is that you just have to come to terms with yourself before you'll be able to find the confidence to meet people.

All the above advice about what you should or shouldn't do, where you should or shouldn't go, isn't going to matter one bit if you arn't comfortable enough with yourself to be able to offer the good times, support, excitement, and attraction that your potential mate is looking for in a man. To be an attractive candidate, you have to be self-sustaining. You have to make it clear that you are low maintenance and willing and able to shrug off the small stuff so that you can give a girl the uncomplicated, stress-free, not-difficult-in-any-way good times that she's been looking for. The moment you start to clam up or backpedal or panic, their interest in you will dry up.

In other words, once you learn to let go a bit, stop fretting over finding someone, stop self-analyzing and being self-conscious, and finally become honest and comfortable with the type of person that you are, you'll be able to be open and honest with the people you meet. You won't have to ever put on a show or google for jedi mind tricks you can use in social situations, because you'll be strong enough to say "if this person likes me, then great. If not, that's fine, we're just not the right type for each other" and move on.

That's not to say that it's not possible to find someone who's equally 'immature' in terms of their self-discovery who would be willing to spend time with you. But neither of you will be happy because it will be a constant effort to prove yourselves to each other over and over until someone can't deal with it any more. Any woman who HAS reached that level of maturity will recognize that you're not ready for a relationship shortly after you approach them, and hopefully let you down easy.

I find that the challenges inherent in describing to someone how to be emotionally mature are reminiscent of Plato's allegory of the cave. Once you see the light it's difficult to come back and describe how to find it to the people who are looking for the truth. It IS there, though, a self-discovery waiting to happen, and when you find it, you'll wonder how you could ever have had trouble finding your very own sweetheart. There isn't much I can do to tell you about how to interpret yourself, though. That's why there isn't such a thing as man page for the human heart.

You seem to have missed the point completely. His post wasn't about souls. You should probably look past your own agenda for a moment to try to see that you are the exact type of person he was just describing. The exact sort of debate that you just tried to start is wholly useless and unhelpful to solving the problem of whether or not people should be able to get abortions. If you think the answer to "When do we get a soul?" is "never," then you've done all you need to do to state that you're in favor of abortion. You don't need to try to argue your opinion by introducing a slew of irrelevant posturing which only serves to confuse the issue, because at it's heart, it is a simple one. Namely, that some people don't like abortion, so maybe it shouldn't always be done. Your sarcasm is unattractive. If your post was just a troll or a joke, then all the worse.

I think you are absolutely right, but to reply to one thing:

I might suggest that this intolerant unforgiving attitude you speak of doesn't necessarily come from the ego.. it comes from our brutish, fearful nature as mortals. By way of example, if you are a doctor who has been entrusted the life of a patient, you often do not have the luxury of time or opportunity to change your mind. To admit later that you made the wrong decision is so tragic as to be considered by most to be unacceptable. If this were a perfect world, we would all recognize that the generally very capable doctor did his best, despite his failure, and we would all move on. We are emotional beings, however, which is why the idea of the environment you describe is ultimately just the result wishful thinking.

You should be modded down, because that makes very little sense.

If a person looks to religion to help him cope with his fear, his lack of self-esteem, or to satisfy his narcissism, then they would be all the more excited about getting to finally face their judgment.

Why should they have anything to fear from heaven when they've walked the path of the righteous their whole life?

You make some good points, but it's hard for me to take some of your post seriously, because of a number of assumptions you make about pious people.

Not everyone who is pious have their faith "drilled into them". Similarly, not everyone who is pious necessarily believes in hell, is pro-life, creationist, or any of the other all-too-commonly thrown around stereotypes around here. Consider me a counterexample.

I have no doubt that some pious people react the way you described, but it also strikes me as disingenuous to take it as a given that non-pious people are always going to bravely and immediately accept death like the secular superhero that most of the internet considers your average atheist to be. It's a perfectly natural and healthy reaction to fear death and to not want to die. There has to be a reason why this is suppressed in the non-religious, and the answer must be that they don't have as much to live for, or that they lack the will to hope for the best for themselves, because they cannot appeal to a higher power.

So, you're probably right that it has to do with hope. One real benefit of being religious is that it is easier to be optimistic and to persevere in even the most difficult of times, and it may be as simple as that. But I think that it's obvious that those who prattle on about the pious person's sudden fears of the afterlife are making this much more complicated and confusing than it really is.

You're also right that a spiritual person is not necessarily a pious person, but I find that it's the best way to describe someone who has a strong faith, but does not necessarily practice all of the tenants of the religion that one allies himself with.

Right on. It may also be worth noting that often, people who are the most doubtful, conflicted, and insecure about themselves are the first to accuse others of having those traits. That may explain the overwhelming jump to conclusions made by the summary and most of the early comments.

Wow, I have to say that the comments so far as well as the proposed explanation in the summary really fall short of anything approaching objectivity or restraint from bias, even more so than is the norm for /. What is with jumping to the conclusion that faithful people are desperately trying to avoid death because they're secretly not faithful, or afraid that they're wrong? Not only does this sound like a desperate grasping of straws to provide an explanation, but it also belies a tremendous lack of respect for any lifestyle that incorporates a little spirituality. My first thought after I RTFA was that the non-religious are less equipped to cope with facing their own demise. I would suggest the opposite of the theories proposed so far, which is a much more intuitive and simple explanation: that when one realizes that they've lived a selfish, faithless life, they realize that there's very little reason for them to cling to it, just as how one loses the drive to continue working on a project which is flawed beyond hope once they realize just how flawed it is. Or perhaps the atheist realizes that he's only been kidding himself about how fulfilled he feels his life really is, and is less motivated to continue such a meaningless existence. Yes, I would call myself a pious person who prays regularly (though I rarely go to church), but I am far from being a jesus freak. I just think it's pretty sickening how any report about a given behavior of religious people in general, whether it is rational or not, is instantly met with derision and disrespect by the greater internet community.

Because it makes the coding soooo much easier.