Oh, come on. This is real. It doesn't require parody.

This feels like what's known as a house of cards. Are the spots on Trump's hand from an IV? Almost certainly. Did it contain an Alzheimers drug? That's very speculative.

An old person falling asleep can be caused by many things. Congestive heart failure is one. That condition is also associated with cankles. Trump said the MRI was of his torso, heart area, not brain area. This is another house of cards, but it looks a bit stronger to me.

I'd try Summer of 69 mode but it's marked NSFW for some reason?

I think there is already a penalty like that. It's called the wash sale rule and it applies to buying and selling the same thing within 30 days. I guess the penalty just isn't big enough?

Wouldn't that make them 402 Media?

Last year, 45-65 private jets flew to COP29. (A few might have been flying to...checks notes...Baku, Azerbaijan for other reasons.)

Tesla has a robot that's not very capable on its own, but seemingly makes a good Waldo. Then, Musk supported a candidate promising to kick out as many immigrants as possible. Is Musk's goal to have them come back remotely?

Vandalism has been the Republican plan since at least Reagan: "In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem."

AI image generation is very good now. AI video and audio generation are rapidly improving. AI robot guidance may yet become useful too.

It's mainly text generation, where every single byte has to make good sense, that's lacking a business case right now. (Ignoring legal ambiguity and union contract issues.)

Alas it's never that simple. Here's a basic question: What is income?

Sure, wages, salary, and dividends are income. What about an asset that increases in value? If you say yes you have to pay for an assessment of all your assets every year. Or let's assume you say it's not income until you sell it and get a "capital gain".

Now, if you take out a loan is that income? If you say yes then you pay huge tax when you buy a house or car with a loan. (You wanted simple and no exceptions!) Suppose you say no, it's not income.

Now wealthy people have large assets that gain value over time without being taxed. They can take out a loan every year against a portion of those assets without being taxed. The assets gain value fast enough that each new loan can pay off the old loan and still provide significant annual income that's not taxed. Wealthy people actually do this now!

Now can you figure a simple way to fix this?

<paperclip_machine>Now attempting to fill all of space with soda cans.</paperclip_machine>

Whoda thunkit?

The results would probably have the Romans in stitches.

To save power when the grid needs it?

That's news to me.