You supposed problems are easily solved. First, if you don't like poring over spreadsheets, then DON'T. Only idiot mix/maxers do that who give a shit whether their missisles do an extra 1.5342% damage or an extra 1.5368% damage. If you want to play the game, then play the game, and fuck spreadsheets. You don't need spreadsheets. You don't need fancy fitting programs, either. I've been having a blast playing the game forever (about 80 million skill points now) and I never, ever, even once, have used a spreadsheet. One only needs spreadhseets if one is has OCD. I can't express to you how little the super-high-end skills and weapons matter in the end. What matters is skill at PLAYING THE GAME. Someone good at startegy and tactics will win every time over someone who has .00032% extra damage or whatever. Being smart matters way more than massive skills or super-rare weapon drops. I've seen skilled players flying frigates with dead standard fittings decimate n00bs in tricked-out battle cruisers. In short, it's not your leets skills or your expensive equipment that matters, it's how well you play. Concentrate on that, not spreadsheets. Delete your spreadsheets and just PLAY. You'll have lots more fun.
If outfitting a battlecruiser for PvP is your goal and you haven't done it in six months, then you aren't allocating your training time right. You're probably trying to Max skills out so you can use the Sooper Dooper Navy Version Extra FooBar Cannon instead of the regular Foobar Cannon. Don't listen to the idiots who seem to imply that if you don't fly a ship into PvP with six billion ISK worth of gear that you're bound to lose. It's FAR smarter to fit a ship with everyday run of the mill gear and use it wisely. Plus, when (not if) you get it blown out from under you, no big deal, just get another cheap one.
And finally, if you fear that you're missing the "big stuff" because you're not in a big corp/alliance, then... JOIN a big corp/alliance. Pretty simple! It's lots of fun!