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Journal Ethelred Unraed's Journal: I am a corporate Disney stooge 13

Journal by Ethelred Unraed
Recently the wife and her sister were looking at baby stuff for little Ethelred Junior. Being that they both are carriers of cooties, they were looking at rather girlish-looking stuff, and dammit, I want EJ to grow up butch. Like his old man. Yeah.

So I want EJ to have the same stuff that old Ethelred loved when he was a kid. Meaning...Winnie the Pooh. Or more precisely, Tigger.

So I told them, I says, "I want Winnie the Godddamn Pooh". In all his capitalist tool Disney glory.

And none of this cootie-infested girlie-man crap. My boy won't be getting cooties, no sir.

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I am a corporate Disney stooge More

I am a corporate Disney stooge

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  • Get 'im some Tonka. Not that pansy stuff they got now, with the plastic and soft edges.

    Get 'im the MANLY tonka, with sharp, pointed corners, pinchpoints and hard metal bodies!!! Bwah hahahahaha!!

    • Yeah! I loved that when I was a kid.... And we had the ones with hard metal bodies. Yeah! They also rusted quite well when you left them outside for too long.

      What a weird advice from a "Safety Cap" ;-)) But you're right. Tonka toys were also especially useful to hit over the head of your brother! Whahahaha ;-)

      • What a weird advice from a "Safety Cap"

        Plus, when you pinch that little web between your index finger and thumb with your Tonka, you learn never to do that again. When you actually do it again (hardheadded kid!) it doesn't hurt as much; eventually you learn that a little pinch won't kill you.

        After that, you are eligible to join the Safety Cap Corps. How can you recognize us? Just look at that little web. If it is all purple and scarred, then its us. :D

      • Yeah, I still have some of mine... I love those metal bodied trucks. They use cheap curvy plastic now... wussies!
    • Get 'im the MANLY tonka, with sharp, pointed corners, pinchpoints and hard metal bodies!!!

      Ahhhhh, I had that stuff as a kid, too. I wonder if my parents still have it...they were nice and rusty and covered in gunk (since they were originally my brother's) with rough edges and probably covered in tetanus. Yeah...that's what EJ needs.

      Maybe I'll give him a drill for his first birthday. Black and Decker (even the name sounds manly). Nah. Stihl. Even better.

      Sure as hell won't be Bosch. That rhymes with "po

      • B&D isn't as "manly" as they used to be. They now seem to make just about any sort of electrical appliance, including kitchen appliances, hair dryers, and irons.
        • That's been the case since the 70s, IIRC, though it looks like they are into it more heavily these days.
          • Yep. They seem to be the biggest brand name in kitchen appliances today. AFAICT they have a higher profile in that market than in power tools.
        • B&D isn't as "manly" as they used to be. They now seem to make just about any sort of electrical appliance, including kitchen appliances, hair dryers, and irons.

          And what isn't manly about that? You don't like my apron?

          I get all manly when I run the vacuum, let me tell you, bub.

          You have to write manly in boldface, otherwise it isn't truly manly.

          Cheers,

          Ethelred

          • What if I write manly in italics? Of course we're talking about tradition/stereotypes here. Personally, I can geek out over kitchen appliances just as easily as anything else.
  • The A. A. Milne stories are cool; the Disney follow-ons are garbage (IMO). Tigger is the Trickster, but he's been sanitized in the Eisner-world.
  • So I told them, I says, "I want Winnie the Godddamn Pooh". In all his capitalist tool Disney glory.

    That Mickey Mouse outfit should hire you to do TV testimonials for them.

  • 1.) I have an agreement with my wife. He gets to be 'cute' until he's 2 (that's 24 months). Once he hits 2, he becomes Daddy's boy. No cute outfits, no cute dolls. Its trucks and football and crap like that (and, btw, he does recognize football on TV, and is sure to point it out to me. I'm working on showing him how to carry his footballs (yeah, plural, he has many...)). Might be someone to agree upon. That way she has time to cutsie him up and you have time to not make him a pansey. Hell, he found

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