I've been thinking alot about patents and the USPTO as of late, and I've begun to realize a much more politically effective and valid way to make the non-technical understand just how corrupt the US Patent system really is.

Covert taxation backing a none-too-subtle amount of graft.

Dear Mr. Kaminsky,

Your use of a "thesis statement and supporting evidence" is in violation of our patent on Logically Supported Critical Argumentation Technology (US patent #591273297689786576). Please refrain in the future from using this method of reasoning or we will be forced to enjoin our lawyers to initiate legal measures against you and your employers.

Yours Truly,

Walter P. Quackmeyer
Everything Under The Sun Enterprises(R)

P.S. Don't bother replying either; such an action would likely be in violation of our Witty Rejoinder Technology (US Patent #98217439102738) and would also put you in danger of receiving legal action.

P.P.S. The style of humor presented in this article is covered by our pending patent, Cynical/Sarcastic Humorous Remarks Technology.